How do You Garden Your Own Self-Control?

Self-control is very crucial in many areas of life. Without it, we can become slaves to the things that are around us or the things that control us: we can find ourselves controlled and overwhelmed by food, money, lust, our words, material and immaterial excesses, etc.

Being able to control ourselves empowers us to control potential and actual material and immaterial excesses or overindulgences. But it’s not so easy for a lot of people to exert sufficient self-control, the type that can put more power in their hands and even make them unshakeable.

The way we handle our respective self-control meters determines our individual results in many areas of life. There is an innate and sensible reason why people agree with this popular saying: “The way you make your bed is the way you sleep in it”. It is rightly so when it comes to self-control.

The Christian Bible (New Living Translation version) even stresses the point much better: Proverbs 25:28 states that “a person without self-control is like a city with broken down walls”.

How many times have we thrown our self-control under the bus and exposed ourselves to negligence, failure, and losses that were not necessary? How many times have we failed to refrain from doing things that are obviously killing us or hindering our chances?

Generally speaking, what type of gardener are you for your own self-control? How do you garden it? In other words, if your self-control was a plant, how well or badly is your self-control performing based on how you’ve been cultivating it over the past years—or since forever?

If it were possible to cultivate self-control without putting in some resolve or effort, then everybody would possess it. Unfortunately or fortunately—depending on your point of view—self-control is more like a plant that needs to be consistently cared for and cultivated, if not, it would wither away and leave you defenseless.

The people who have strong self-control are attentive to their “self-control”. They make sure that they take care of it properly and it acquires everything it needs to flourish and remain healthy.

Think about growing or sustaining your self-control in the same way: you must be prepared to “will” yourself and, in any situation that could lead to great results, prioritize long-term results over instant gratification.

When it comes to self-control, many people have the tendency to evade all kinds of things that can create discomfort and require our maximum effort.

Many people aren’t successful in their personal growth because they don’t exert enough self-control over their love for food, laziness, wasting countless hours in front of television, spending money on things that are unnecessary, and cutting corners anywhere possible.

If you want to acquire sufficient self-control or strengthen it much further, then get ready to neglect or put away many things; this may result in people ridiculing you, frowning upon you, misunderstanding you, and even calling you “weird”.

It can be discouraging and difficult to face adversity from people, family, and friends as you strive to improve yourself by exerting self-control. Whenever you face such adversity and feel out of sync with the rest of the world, remember that there are other people going through the same situation like you. Some will succeed and set the tone, while others won’t!

Forging a path is a responsibility that the vast majority of people would like to avoid. Remember that whenever you’re stumbling, failing, and need to straighten things out by exerting self-control, you’re forging your own path which will never be the same as that of other people.

13 thoughts on “How do You Garden Your Own Self-Control?

  1. This is a high quality write, K. You made so many wonderful points, and offer excellent advise in the areas of developing and maintaining self control.

    For me, the single biggest contributor to my self control is meditation. When we sit, and get to understand our mind, and we open the doorway to the heart mind connection, we are able to see thoughts differently. Reactivity begins to convert into a response. The latter, along with reflection, is part of self control. Wow, that was fun! 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  2. First off mate control is illusion why… because you have as much “control ” as what goes inside your body as you do with speed

    The Control you speak off is more like fixation you thirst for wanting to weigh and measure that rush you get from exhilaration is exuberance moments in life” Primal R.e.p.r

    You can learn to harness and cipher deeper meaning of yourself ex what makes you tick I can say those that have gone through atrocities and serious trauma

    End up with Complex C it forces you to truly peel back the layers of yourself to find the raw schism from within You

    One way or another it will teach you truly know You not talking about who you think you are or desire to be but … RAW YOU

    Insightful mate

    luas I do dia thruas


    Liked by 1 person

  3. I try to garden my self control but it’s not always easy. There are many days when it just don’t work and sometimes it comes naturally. It goes hand in hand with how your life is. Are you feeling well and is things going well or not.

    Like you said, It’s true you will not get anywhere with just watching TV but I think these days the biggest issue is ability to relax and allocate time use appropriately. There are stimuli in every direction and it is often difficult to get rid of a phone or computer, for example. (We should also understand that sometimes it’s ok to just watch TV!) Here would be something to learn for myself too! Thank you for the great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. you’re welcome and thanks so much for sharing your experiences and thoughts. actually, it’s not always easy but I can only encourage you to continue giving every shot you can because if you put your effort into it, it will become more manageable, easier, and even completely natural.


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