Category Archives: Motivation & Self-help

FREE Isn’t Always the Best Place to Start: FREE Things May Have a Downside

It’s true that some of the free things of life—including the gift of life itself—only have an upside. But many of the free things of life definitely have both an upside and a downside—an obvious or potential downside that we don’t usually consider, maybe because we think free things are completely FREE!

The truth is that FREE is not always the best place to start! FREE is sometimes deceptive because it drives our emotions to such a point that we become instantly convinced—even without clear or complete reason(s)—that the thing that is being offered for free is highly or more valuable than it really is.

Many people don’t usually weigh what FREE is made of (i.e., the quality of the content that is in FREE) because FREE makes them forget about any fear of losing. What do you stand to lose from accepting or taking something that’s free? Even if it appears you won’t lose anything at the moment, it’d be wise to reconsider and look deeper or further where you may find that the free item or freebie has a downside that can impede your progress or destroy you.

Therefore, as attractive or powerful as FREE is, it is important to note that FREE is not always the best place to start because “FREE” and “quality” likely go hand in hand; even items that are not FREE may have higher quality and much more to offer.

Different price tags are signals of different types of qualities, and FREE (which has no price tag) cannot always guarantee the best or high quality. Which car do you think would likely be better? The one with the highest price tag, or the one with the cheaper (or a much cheaper) price tag? The likely correct answer is the car that has the highest price tag.

When something is free, we may not see the importance of making any correlation between its price (FREE) and its quality. It may be important to get accustomed to making a correlation between price and quality because, generally, it is rare to find something that is free and—at the same time—high quality.

Therefore, if something is free, don’t always expect the quality to be as high as your emotions could wrongly assume; in fact, expect the quality to be lower, so that even if you find out eventually that it is lower, you’d be able to handle any disappointment, if any!

Even free things that have high quality can deter one’s progress: imagine the temptation that may overpower people who are on a diet, but still decide to overeat whenever they find themselves at a party with free snacks or surrounded by plenty of free food. What do they stand to gain by eating all types of high-quality free food, especially when they are on a necessary and important diet? On the other hand, what would they stand to lose if they don’t eat all types of high-quality free food when they are on a necessary and important diet? They stand to lose NOTHING. Yes, absolutely NOTHING!

Unless food is scarce in your part of the world—but it likely won’t if you’re on a diet—the only thing you’d gain by unnecessarily eating free things is just the unnecessary and thus empty free things themselves.

What to do when FREE comes calling—whenever you stand a chance to get something for free

Some free things can actually make you lose your dream, all your years of hard work, and possibly your future. For, in certain circumstances, what you think is free may actually end up stripping you of real freedom and growth. Some free things may actually drop you from a higher position to a lower or terrible position. In fact, some free things or freebies may even destroy you.

Therefore, any time you have a chance to get something for free, ask yourself whether you’d pay for the free item, even if it is being offered for free: would you pay for a free item if you’re going to use it to achieve something beneficial? I guess you would! But, if you won’t be using it to achieve something beneficial, then why accept or take it?

Although a free thing or freebie might help someone else, it might not help you. This calls for us to beware of the free things of life—either from Mother Nature or from our fellow human beings.

You won’t be missing out on anything if you don’t accept a freebie or purchase something that won’t add any value to your life. If you accept or purchase something that won’t add value to your life, then you may end up losing valuable things such as your focus, time, effort, etc. Therefore, from now on, whenever you see that something is free and you want to take or accept it, ask yourself whether you really need it. If you have to pay for it, would you still want it, or would you want it just because you don’t want to miss out on a freebie? The choice is yours!


New Year Resolutions Cannot Be Successfully Implemented Overnight

Usually, multitudes of people from every nation thinkable start off each Year with their “New Year resolutions”; however, fast-forward into the year and what eventually happens is that most or almost all of the same people lose courage and fail at implementing their New Year resolutions.

Truth is that New Year resolutions—as well as the important things of life—don’t come into being overnight. Everything on Earth needs time to ripen. More importantly, everything involving and revolving around the mind needs some appreciable amount of time to ripen! To successfully implement a New Year resolution today, your mind must work on it, and this requires at least some ample patience.

If you want a ripe fruit now-now-now, you need to be patient! First, you must allow the tree to flower, and start to produce fruit; next, you have to wait for the fruit to ripen.

Therefore, if a fruit is not brought to maturity in an instant or within a second or an hour, how do you expect the human mind to implement a New Year resolution so quickly and easily?

Even in situations where New Year resolutions are successfully implemented, the mind must have been doing some underground work prior to the successful implementation of such New Year resolutions.

One major rule everybody that would be wise to remember when it comes to successfully implementing New Year resolutions—especially when it comes to changing habits—is this: don’t expect that over the course of a few days or even a few weeks, you’d instantly change the negative or damaging habits you’ve been engaging in for a long time—especially months or years.

Long story short: it takes time to make wholesale mindset changes in both positive and negative directions! At the very least, it could/would take you weeks, months, or even years to eradicate negative habits and traits from your life and successfully implement your New Year resolutions.

It would be meaningless to be unsatisfied with or get angry at the amount of time you’d need to successfully implement your New Year resolution. Why? Because you can’t suddenly instill new habits or erase the effects or impacts of the negative past.

All you can do is work on your New Year resolutions and be patient, especially if you’re starting from ground zero; however, if you don’t need to get rid of a bad habit, it will evidently take you a shorter time period to acquire the virtue you desire because you wouldn’t have to waste any effort or time in reversing or erasing the adverse effects or impacts of the bad habit.

Even so, it doesn’t mean you’d be able to instantly implement your New Year resolution overnight. It takes time for a New Year resolution mindset to mature and straighten things out: a new or desirable trait or habit only becomes firmly and successfully ingrained in your personality with the passage of time and a series of supportive experiences to reinforce its presence.

Think of successfully implementing a New Year resolution as regularly practicing any sport to become better and better at it: regardless of how much talent you have, you still need to practice hundreds upon hundreds or thousands upon thousands of times to build muscle memory and develop a sixth sense for playing the sport.

Since you can’t play a sport for 24 hours and 7 days a week, usually, it would take you years to become great at the sport in order to become a great player—and there’s no way to shortcut the process! Instilling a New Year resolution mindset is the same.

One decision and successful shot don’t make you a great basketball player. One decision and successful shot don’t make you a great football player. But regular or consistent series of successful shots do. Consistency requires repetition over an appreciable or long period of time.

The Less Attached We are to Outcomes, the Better We’d Feel If the Unwanted Happens

Ever had an experience that was an awful mess just because you had somewhat “put all your eggs in one basket”—you had too much expectation, right? We’ve all been there at some point in time.

But when you remove too much expectation, you’d be left with a situation that’s easy or even way too easy to handle, especially if the unwanted or unexpected happens.

On the one hand, it’s important, appropriate, and even just to focus all your attention on doing important things; however, on the other hand, experience could leave you with a much bitter pill to swallow if you fail to achieve your goals after focussing your attention as if the essence of living depends on them.

If you are used to “putting all your eggs in one basket” when it comes to having an expectation, then you need a healthier approach to the things of life, especially as the things of life do not always go to plan or the way we desire or anticipate, even when we are fully in control.

Regardless of our strength or power as humans, we will always have one kind of limitation or another! This is a part of life whose lessons are always there to remind us about the importance of being less attached to the outcomes of our dream-driven actions: it’s a part of life whose lessons make us understand that our lives do not depend on our limitations or the negative outcomes they create.

Therefore, we’d be better off attaching less focus or importance to outcomes or expectations. The less we attach ourselves to outcomes or expectations, the better we’d feel when they don’t materialize. In other words, the better we’ll feel when things don’t go our way.

Putting full confidence in anything, especially material things, poses a big challenge and can be disastrous if one has too much confidence and expectation, and takes everything completely to heart without ever considering their limitation as a human.

If your motivation for doing anything depends on the result or outcome of your labor, then you’ll likely find it difficult to handle any outcome that doesn’t go your way. In certain instances, you may likely give up long before you even start seeing your efforts bear any tangible fruit, especially when results are coming slower than you expect or anticipate.

Be more attached to putting in your best effort(s), and less attached to outcomes

When setting new goals and taking actions to ensure that they yield desired or expected results, it’s healthier to be more attached to your own best efforts and the standards you want to fulfill—not only the outcomes or results you want to achieve!

When awaiting outcomes, especially after setting new goals or taking actions to achieve them, it’s healthier—mentally, emotionally, and otherwise—to be contented with the best efforts you’ve made. That’s right: be contented with drawing inspiration from the best efforts you’ve been able to make.

Even if results don’t materialize for a particular goal, the appreciation you show for your own efforts will inspire you to build or maintain a disciplined work ethic that could benefit your entire life in many ways.

Many people are fond of erroneously believing that every new thing or venture they indulge in will end up being better than the previous ones; however, the reality of life soon dawns on them that not all new ventures always turn out to be as successful or widely popular as the older ones—this has happened on many occasions to many people.

However, we don’t need to allow the uncertainties of life to discourage us from indulging in new ventures or activities that we want to partake in, in order to achieve success.

Even if a new venture that you regard as your best work turns out to be an epic failure, you shouldn’t in any way allow your emotions and life to depend on it. Don’t allow unwanted outcomes to get to your head and eventually discourage you from venturing into new things.

Pending when the results of your efforts show up, be contented with having fulfilled your own standards and done your best. If you are more attached to (or more motivated by) only the nature of outcomes, you’ll always likely be in for a shocker every now and then.

It’s very important to know exactly what your standards are and always do everything within your power to fulfill them, even when there is no hope for gratification in the near and foreseeable future.

Concluding remarks

It’s better to be contented doing what you love doing, and doing it to standard, than completely expecting the fruit of your actions—desires or expectations—to come to pass!

In other words, you’d feel better being content with doing good work and basing much more of your sense of fulfillment on it, and basing much less on your outcomes.

Fulfilling your own standards is what should fulfill you so that if the unwanted happens—good, bad, or anything in between—nothing can take you by surprise and gradually suck the life out of you.

To Succeed at Controlling Others, You Must First Control Yourself

How many people would be wholeheartedly loyal to someone who obviously has no self-control? Not many, I guess; even if there are, they’d likely be loyal for reasons that are far from genuine—money, favors, etc. Genuine, however, is an altogether different ballgame—it requires much more!

If you demand true loyalty, respect, service, and self-discipline from others, you must first prove that you have enough of it to control yourself. Otherwise, you’ll lack the necessary credibility that can make other people genuinely listen, take orders from, or truly follow you.

Lacking sufficient self-control makes it difficult to exhibit true leadership which is usually impossible without self-control. For people to willingly allow you to have control over them, they have to see and sense that you can actually control your own self.

The ability to control one’s self is not only expected from people who are in “leadership positions”—i.e., national or world leaders, etc.: it’s also expected from anybody who occupies a role that makes them responsible for the well-being of another person or a group of people.

Self-control is to be expected from parents; self-control is to be expected from any or all the parties in a relationship; self-control is to be expected from anybody who is part of a local community or society; etc.

Love your neighbor as yourself—this is a great pillar for strong self-control! Learn to be attentive to the feelings or needs of other people. Whenever you’re struggling to stay disciplined or exert self-control during a situation, pause for a bit and think particularly about all the people whom you regard as your “followers” or “loyal followers”, whether they are your brothers, sisters, colleagues, children, your friends, or neighbors—anybody!

When the time arrives for you to exert self-control but you don’t do it, even though all of heaven and earth—and even you yourself—knows that you should, then what would your followers think of you?

Would your followers still be willing to continue following you if they find out that you had failed to exhibit the degree of self-control they’ve been admiring in you to such an extent that you are regarded as a very important person in their lives?

Do you really wish to succeed at not falling off the cliff during any struggle with self-control? Then you have to give yourself a convincing reason or more than a reason (many reasons make conviction easier) why you have to exert self-control, be self-disciplined, or resist yet another temptation to fail at controlling yourself.

Learn to direct your thoughts to other people. If you fail to put yourself in other people’s shoes and give yourself good answers for the reasons behind your intended actions, then you’ll find it easier to succumb to those temptations or urges that can make you lose much or everything.

Conquering Fear by Staying Outside Your Comfort Zone

Fear sometimes or oftentimes compels us to stay in our comfort zone. If each person is allowed to have their way, they would likely choose to stay right in their comfort zone, and never venture outside it.

One of the main reasons why many people fail to utilize great opportunities that can shoot them to stardom is due to their decision to remain right inside their comfort zone. They don’t want to have anything to do with the potential or obvious qualms that lie in wait outside.

Fortunately or unfortunately, no matter how hard we try to stay in our respective comfort zones, there comes a time when we have no other option than to get up, leave, and stay outside our comfort zones so that we can stand a good chance of achieving success.

Although it sounds odd, the truth is that our very discomfort zones are effective or sure-fire ways we can use to tackle and conquer very the fears that impede our progress.

If you need to move up the ladder to the next level in your life, regardless of the endeavor, then you must learn to draw closer to, get increasingly familiar with, and stay outside your comfort zone which, at the same time, happens to be the domain of your discomfort zone.

But how or where do you start tackling or conquering the fears that have gripped us and seemingly have the upper hand at the moment? You start by bracing yourself and getting outside your comfort zone.

Regardless of the situation at hand, take baby steps and start associating with the very things that you are afraid of—the very things you dislike, the very things you’d prefer to stay away from—whether it is reading, writing, going to the gym, or just anything at all.

Baby steps are like the little drops of water that are bound together but still make up the mighty ocean: baby steps are like the little grains of sand that make up each part of the Earth’s land.

Each baby step—which is actually action on/interaction with your discomfort zone—leads to increasing degrees of familiarity and positivity that would subconsciously and eventually “draw you in” to do and become what you’ve always desired. Being consistent with the baby steps leads to the goal—your dream!

Tackling or conquering fears by taking repetitive actions that are seemingly uncomfortable or outside your comfort zone

As odd, uncomfortable, or difficult as it might seem to go over or step outside your comfort zone, it can—and in many cases will—pay you rich dividends if you do it, especially in the long run and in important areas of your life.

Since some fears are somewhat aligned or intertwined with our dreams, we usually have no other healthier option than to stretch beyond our comfort zone by gradually exposing ourselves to the discomforts or fears which are, fortunately, also opportunities for personal growth.

Exposing one’s self to fears or discomforts is actually the same thing as exposing one’s self to the opposite of what they actually like doing, which, in most cases, is staying or living permanently in a comfort zone, without ever having a care in the world!

However, it is important to note that staying in your comfort zone, instead of staying out, can keep you far away from your own promised land—the eventual realization of your dreams.

Are you afraid of heights? If yes, then start navigating towards those heights instead of running away from them. If you need to conquer the fear of heights to achieve your dreams, then the earlier you start going towards those discomforting heights—instead of shying or running away from them—the faster and better things could move for you! Some of the greatest mountain and cliff climbers were once afraid of heights in the past—they had some fear and discomfort. However, they made consistent attempts to associate with and face their fear of heights; eventually, they ended up hiking on the highest mountains and climbing cliffs which are usually higher than the tallest buildings in the world. Many of the best wouldn’t have been able to achieve the astounding feats they achieved, if not for the fact that they made consistent efforts to face their fear of heights. If not for their continuous exposure to heights and consistent approach, they wouldn’t have been able to develop the power that enabled them to get rid of the fear of heights.

Maybe you’re not afraid of heights. Maybe you’re afraid of reading! Are you one of many people who hate opening and reading books? If your answer is “yes”, then it’s important to note that if you don’t love and become familiar with opening and reading your books, it’s going to be very difficult or impossible to achieve your dreams. If you need to conquer the fear of reading to achieve your dreams, then it’s best to start opening and reading your books instead of running away from them—make it a habit! Reading books is actually the opposite of what many people feel like doing; however, reading is necessary and the most important thing that should be done in order to achieve certain goals—especially, many big ones! If people can get rid of their fear of reading, they would be able to open and read books without struggling to do it. And this could lead to a whole new world: a full-blown personal transformation!

If you’re afraid of writing, then writing is what you need to get familiar with or make a habit of doing, without having to struggle so much: writing is what you need to gravitate to, love, and make your pal in order to conquer the fear you have for it. You need to start picking up your pen and make a consistent effort to write and write and write, instead of running away from it. Exposing yourself to more and more writing would help you to grow and eventually get rid of the fear of writing.

If you need to conquer the fear of public speaking to achieve your dreams, then it’s best to start navigating towards any opportunity that can allow you to speak in public. Stop the habit of running away when opportunities arise. Even if you don’t think that you’re ready at the moment, you can and must start preparing your mindset as best as you possibly can for any opportunity (opportunities are always hanging around, waiting for people to pounce on them). This will put you in the best shape to embrace any opportunity that comes around. Although exposing yourself to public speaking—or making public speeches—could be scary and are the opposite of what you normally feel like doing, deep down you know how important it is to you; therefore, use it to your advantage and rid yourself of the fear of public speaking.

If you’re afraid of exploring new ventures (instead of embracing them like some of the world’s people who have thrived on adventures and explored new worlds), then you need to conquer the fear of exploring new ventures! If you don’t start becoming familiar with and loving new ventures, you’d find it difficult or impossible to achieve your dreams that are tied to new ventures. Exposing yourself to new ventures might be the opposite of what you actually like doing; however, it’s necessary for you to gravitate towards new ventures, start associating with them, and take baby steps to grow until you get rid of your fear of new ventures.

Concluding words: advice

One of the most important lessons we can learn from the experiences of people who have lived outside their comfort zone—or embraced discomfort, but nevertheless achieved success—is that everyone has the ability to start tackling and conquering their fear until they start seeing light at the end of the tunnel, and eventually conquer their fear.

Don’t get me wrong: regardless of our individual levels of success, each one of us still has some level of fear or reservation towards certain activities or ventures. However, we—you, me, or anyone else—can greatly diminish or even completely eradicate such levels of fear or reservation if we take those available baby steps, move, and stay outside our comfort zone.

We hope that this post will encourage you step regularly outside your comfort zone in any way that you possibly can, whether it is little or big, or even both! A little way can include something as simple as doing push-ups a little bit harder during a workout, reading or writing a bit more every day, or working for a little longer when you actually feel like sleeping or don’t feel like doing anything—even when it can help you achieve your dreams. A big way can include something as terrifying or scary as climbing higher mountains or cliffs; or it can include something as challenging as reading a 500-page book or writing 20,000 words every week; on the other hand, it can also include something as stultifying as speaking in front of more than two or more people.

There’s No Value in the Criticism that Comes from Haters

Many people have once received unfair or hateful criticism (mistaken for so-called “advice” or “constructive criticism”) in the past and ran away with it, only to find out later that what they had bought into and ran away with was the worst piece of junk they could ever have as advice! If you’re not careful, the criticism from “haters” will take you backward.

But who can we blame if we mistakenly run away with hateful criticism? While growing up or continuously developing in life, many people aren’t just able to recognize certain types of criticisms for what they really are—completely meaningless, valueless, time- and attention-wasting, destructive, and above all—hateful!

Haters don’t always seem to have good reasons for the hateful criticisms they direct at people. The destructive effects of their criticisms only become obvious after their criticisms start taking a toll on people and starving them of progress—even drawing them back into low or lower levels of life.

Examples of hateful—therefore, senseless and valueless—criticism

While some people are following their dreams by studying in the university or school, or focussing on an endeavor or their career, some haters outrightly distract them by accusing them of:

  • reading too much
  • working too hard
  • dressing decently
  • not partying at all
  • not partying enough
  • not dressing flashy enough
  • not showing sufficient interest in the opposite sex
  • putting too much effort into losing weight
  • using too much time to build a healthier or fitter physique
  • lacking enough talent to become successful
  • doing one thing or another which is none of the hater’s business
  • generally, not fitting in
  • etc.

Haters unfairly or hatefully criticize and criticize and criticize until, if the person whom their criticism is directed at is not careful, they may begin to think that it’s wrong to follow or pursue their life goals.

Don’t give up your goals or dreams because of hateful criticisms. Continue working on your goals and dreams, and be patient; let time pass as you witness the growing number of goals you achieve; then, you’d come to eventually realize that there was and is no value in the criticism that comes from haters.

You’d come to realize that buying or giving in to hateful or unfair criticism would only lead to a downside or dark side that can jeopardize your long-term or life goals.

Don’t give in to hateful criticism; not now, not ever! Hateful criticism can only lead to a downside/dark side

What’s the best way to react to hateful or unfair criticism? You simply have to get used to discarding, rejecting, or not giving in to hateful criticism which is usually directed from haters. The best foolproof way to deal with haters is to ignore whatever hateful criticism they throw at or direct to you.

Focus on yourself instead, and shield yourself from negativity. But why should you? You should because hateful criticism is just not constructive or meaningful; it adds no value to further progress or development, and the intent behind it is only meant to decimate or devalue the progress of the person to whom it is directed.

It’s a sad and unfortunate fact of life on Earth that whenever you do something worthwhile, you will likely have or attract haters for one reason or another—or even for no reason at all! And haters voice out their hateful opinions or criticism; they criticize anything and everything for different reasons.

But it’d be difficult for you to buy into or bother about any hateful criticism if you understand and are convinced that there’s just no value in the criticism that comes from haters. There is zero value in their criticism. The men and women who focus on their dreams know this truth deep down in their hearts.

“Pressing on” is What Separates Winners from Losers; It Takes People to Their Destination

The motto or catchword “press on” has solved and will always continue to solve mankind’s problems and even those of other living things. Pressing on or being persistent—and also determined—is very important.

In many cases, if not all or almost all, it will be difficult if not impossible for anything to truly take the place of “pressing on” or persistence. Talent won’t; genius won’t; even education won’t!

The world has many educated derelicts, unrewarded geniuses, and unsuccessful men who have great talent; the absence of pressing on distinguishes such people from rewarded geniuses and successful talents.

Pressing on is extremely important and often a game changer when obstacles are seemingly getting in the way between our efforts and our final goal—the ultimate prize!

Whenever you’re in doubt, just continue to press on instead of giving up or caving in

It sounds unjust, yet one simple and undisputable fact about life is that people who persist are usually more successful than geniuses, educated, and talented people who don’t. Persistence that is exercised over a considerable or long period of time eventually leads to success.

Many people are extremely talented, but they fail to achieve success when doubt comes in: they give up after flopping one or more times; meanwhile, those who are much less talented (or lack talent, skills, or formal education) but continue to persist are the ones who eventually occupy the bestseller lists because of continuously engaging in one activity after another until success arrives.

Many successful people aren’t smarter than you or me; yet they manage to persist, master several things, and build themselves—even with tools that people think are almost difficult or impossible to utilize. Their secret lies in persistence.

Within a period of time (days, months, or years), they acquire an extensive body of work—all thanks to small amounts of daily time investment that don’t require any special talents or being a genius.

If you have stopped pressing on and are currently struggling to reach your goal, remind yourself that even though you feel lost in a maze, pressing on will eventually help you reach your destination in many cases. Pressing on or persisting is the only thing that separates eventual winners from the losers.

Self-discipline is Best Tested During Struggles—Not When Everything is Going Well

We are usually very confident in our level of self-discipline when we’re in our comfort zone where everything is going well and running smoothly; however, many come to realize that their self-discipline—if available at all—vanishes when they get into certain situations, especially those that are engulfed by struggles.

Struggles and hardships are a part of life, but they aren’t often fun to deal with. And while it is not necessary for us to run or get into situations that test our self-discipline or resolve to the limits, struggles and hardships can be valuable because they present an opportunity for personal growth, especially in areas of life where we really need to grow up, become successful, or stand out.

Most of us are not aware that we can strengthen our ability to handle even harder challenges or worse circumstances in the future if we man up and demonstrate courage or toughness when faced with difficult or challenging situations in the present, instead of backing down.

Struggles, hardships, trials and tribulations, and challenges of all sorts are like training. You may not enjoy them, but keep this thought in mind: every struggle that tests your self-discipline will eventually pay off and more than compensate for any stress or suffering you’re going through at the moment.

We discover how strong our self-discipline is when we struggle, and not when everything is going well

Our self-discipline shows what manner of man it is when we come up against situations we need to overcome in order to move up higher on the ladder of life; it shows us the stuff it is made of when we need to deny tempting treats that freely or easily come to us or cross our path.

For sure, your self-discipline is really firm and strong when:

  • you continue to work hard, even when the last thing you’d like to do is work
  • you keep on writing heavily, even when the last thing you’d like to do is writing
  • you are persistent in keeping away from candy or high-calorie snacks, even when the last thing you’d like to do is avoid them
  • you still wake up early in the morning to run your dream business, even when it is obvious that your business is going nowhere
  • you keep away from your neighbor’s beautiful wife, even when she’s enticing you and you’d like to have her right away
  • you continue going to the gym and working out, even when  that’s the last thing you’d like to do
  • you remain faithful to your dream job and stay in it, even  when you have lost all motivation to continue
  • etc. 

As you can see, your self-discipline is best tested in a myriad of ways during struggles, challenges, and whatnot. But one thing will always remain certain: your self-discipline is actually self-discipline, not when things are going so well, but when you are up against situations that can drop you down to Earth if you don’t impose your self-discipline to elevate yourself to higher levels of life.

Sky is the Limit—Only if You Stick to Your Dreams Long Enough

The saying that “the sky is the limit” is only for those who are into their dreams or aspirations for the long haul—in the long run. Sky is the limit is not applicable to every circumstance or dream, especially if it’s surrounded by impatience and “short-termness”, instead of patience and “long-termness”.

As we aim for the stars in a world where impatience dominates patience—as is this case here on our old planet Earth—we often fail to consider or estimate long-term approaches which work well with “sky is the limit”.

Even when we consider “long-term approaches”, we usually focus on “short or shorter long-term approaches” and end up overestimating the desired changes that would/could occur in the next one, two, or few years. Don’t fall into the trap of wrongly overestimating what you think can be achieved in a short period of time, even when it isn’t feasible.

Most of us are often impatient or short-sighted to such an extent that we underestimate the change that would or could occur in the long run—say in the next three, five, seven, ten, or more years’ time. Long story short: most of us don’t give enough time, and we don’t look far enough, as the real world expects us to.

An astonishing number of people give up on their dreams, goals, or ambitions in just a few weeks, months, or years after starting off. We become easily discouraged when our results are lackluster or we haven’t yet achieved our set goals.

It’s wrong to allow yourself to become discouraged in the short run because the things of the world don’t usually work well in the short run. Except if GOD Himself comes down to help:

  • nobody can build a successful business in a few hours or days
  • nobody can achieve a perfect physique in a few hours or days
  • nobody can learn a new language in a few hours, days, weeks, or even months
  • nobody can become a medical doctor within a few days or months
  • nobody can become a self-disciplined person overnight
  • nobody can make a tree become fully grown in a few days or even months
  • nobody can conceive and give birth after a few days or a few months

However—and good enough—sticking to your dreams for many (or a considerable number of) months or years can turn you into a world-class expert, not only in one field or endeavor, but in more or many fields of endeavor.

Long story short: when you stick to your dreams and maintain your momentum, regardless of whatever happens around, you’ll end up getting exponential results. And the sky can actually become your limit if you don’t end up surpassing it.

The trick is to stick to your dreams or goals long enough for your momentum to accrue and make “sky is the limit” attainable

If you stick to your dreams long enough, your business which has lasted only one year and been lackluster can explode virtually overnight in its second, third, or even fourth year.

“Overnight success” doesn’t actually happen in the real world; overnight success is a process that takes place over considerable or long enough time—say, several hours, days, months, or even years. Regardless of how long it takes, you must stick to the process long enough for it to build upon itself until it hits your target.

When you look at successful people’s catalog of works (published research, written books, treated patients, games played, trophies won, etc.), you might be tempted to think that they succeeded overnight or almost immediately after getting started: “Steven King first book became a bestseller, so it’s possible for me too to become a bestselling author in a few days or months.” No, the real world does not usually work that way.

Some successful authors’ first successful or popular book wasn’t actually their first book. Maybe they had been writing (articles, blog posts, books, etc.) for a long time before they eventually wrote and published a successful book. In fact, what made some authors’ books become bestsellers is a process of writing that lasted maybe for over five, ten, or many more years.

“Sky is the limit” only works for people who stick to their dreams for the long haul—people who stick to their dreams long enough—not in the short term or on impatience. That’s how the world actually works!

Therefore, whenever setting a new goal, take the long-term or “longest-term” approach. Don’t have the mindset or mentality of people who assume that their world can change overnight. Stick to your dreams or ambitions for the long haul, and don’t allow short-term waverings make you to give up.

20 Ways a Manager can Motivate Their Employees

Nothing is as powerful as a team of motivated employees that is led by a visionary manager. According to Jon Gordon, the author of “Soup: A Recipe to Nourish Your Team and Culture”, motivation is the most significant emotion employees could bring to work. Nothing else matters that much.

One of the main responsibilities of any manager is to figure out how to motivate the employees, team, or teams they are supervising, and accomplish their organization’s or company’s goals. Fortunately, there are ways that managers can control factors that are essential to achieving this.

The main factor under any manager’s control is the relationship they have with each employee or team. Another important factor—may be the second important one—is the organizational culture or work environment that a manager nurtures under their watch.

So how can a manager motivate their employees and get them to follow their lead? What can a manager do to energize their staff and get them devoted in a way that can achieve desired results?

Manager can motivate their employees by:

1. Leading with imaginativeness or vision

Employees are motivated by managers who are visionary leaders and actually know what they are up to. Good employees need to be convinced that their efforts at work are heading towards something worthwhile. That’s where a manager’s vision plays an important role in motivating their employees.

Without a compelling vision from the manager, employees may likely work on low morale and end up having only little boosts in morale. However, with a compelling vision, employees will have more desire to achieve both corporate and individual goals.

2. Nurturing open communication and becoming more familiar with employees

When employees have a personal connection with a manager, it makes them more motivated not to disappoint the manager or let them down.

Having and nurturing open communication with employees or staff is essential in sustaining employee motivation. People hardly feel comfortable working under a manager or boss who is seemingly unapproachable or reserved.

A manager can make themself more personable to their employees when they encourage familiarity and sociability in the workplace and strengthen one-on-one relationships with employees.

Familiarity can help a manager to better understand their employees or team, discover what motivates each team member individually, and easily remove any mental barriers that could come between manager and employee.

Positive relationships can be fostered by holding regular staff meetings, team bonding exercises, and ensuring that there is effective communication between manager and staff.

3. Creating a friendly work environment and encouraging teamwork

Employees spend a large chunk of time in their workplace. Therefore, any manager should do all they can to ensure that their workplace is as appealing and friendly as possible, and team members are communicating with each other as clearly and effectively as possible.

When a manager creates a welcoming, friendly, comfortable, and pleasant work environment, employees will be more interested in going to work every day and working with their whole hearts, instead of part of them.

Reducing or removing the impact of hierarchy and bureaucracy in the work environment can go a long way in encouraging teamwork under a manager or boss, and keeping employees motivated.

4. Monitoring and following up with employees: showing them care and understanding

Employees will naturally have concerns, queries, or questions concerning their work or work environment. Following up on employees’ concerns, work, and work ethic is as equally important as monitoring them or making inquiries about them.

Although a manager might not be able to answer every query or resolve every issue, at least following up with their employees in any way possible would prove to employees that their concerns are being considered, rather than ignored, or referred to someone else.

Even if a manager doesn’t have enough time for staff, it would be impactful if they dedicate some time during team or staff meetings for employees to voice or write down their concerns.

Like everyone else, employees are also human beings—not emotionless robots—who need motivation and support to execute their jobs.

5. Appreciating or acknowledging employees’ work

It can be easy for managers to overlook the day-to-day tasks of employees who work tirelessly to complete their tasks. It may even seem absurd, unreasonable, or unnecessary for managers to appreciate their employees each time they do their work correctly.

However, if a manager finds time to acknowledge or recognize even minor achievements by employees, it can go a long way in keeping the employees motivated.

People love to feel acknowledged or appreciated. A manager who takes time to thank their staff can keep them motivated, and attract increased productivity and more success.

In a study on employee motivation over 40 years, it was observed that appreciation was the second most important driver of motivation, behind desirable wage or remuneration.

6. Providing well-defined goals and career paths for advancement

Many times, managers don’t emphasize organizational goals enough, or they don’t inform employees about their respective responsibilities in a comprehensive manner.

Some managers mistakenly assume that their employees have clearly figured out or understood the goals of their organization, even when they obviously haven’t!

Employees should be clearly informed about what they are expected to do so that, in addition to being motivated, they can continue to advance, career-wise, and have a smooth ride on achieving their set goals.

7. Convincing employees that their boss—the manager—is worth working for

Employees usually look up to their manager as a leader if the manager is considerate and sets an example for the rest to follow. Considerate managers easily motivate their employees and carry them along.

Remember the Golden Rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you? Most bosses and managers would do well to remember that they were once employees too, and they should avoid doing all the negative things their bosses once did. They should avoid doing things that could drive employees crazy and make them quit work.

By having unrealistic expectations and being crabby and unapproachable, some managers unfortunately make work a living nightmare for their employees. Each manager should put themselves in their employees’ shoes and ensure that they’re the same person they would like to work for.

A miserable manager can unintentionally succeed in ruining an employee’s job or work ethic, even if the employee loves their job. An employee’s motivation can be sustained when they have a manager or someone they’d really like to work for.

8. Practicing transparency

A manager who lacks transparency, trust, or credibility, leaves their employees in the dark and gives their organization a bad image, not only in the eyes of their employees, but also in the eyes of the public. On the other hand, a transparent manager motivates and gains the trust of their employees, and the public as well.

9. Remaining upbeat and staying positive

It’s popularly believed and has been proven time and time again that being upbeat or pleasantly optimistic is contagious.

It’s easier for employees to be motivated if their manager is someone who maintains positivity and is enthused to be at work each day: employees are inclined to be happy to work for a manager who has good vibes and is naturally delighted and happy about their work and organization.

On the other hand, people find it hard to please and work for someone who is apparently difficult to please.

10. Creating and maintaining an agile work environment

An “agile work environment” refers to a “fast-paced work environment” or an environment where communication proceeds rapidly and value is placed on constant adjustments and changes that deliver results as efficiently and quickly as possible.

Fast-paced environments are engaging, inspiring, and exciting, and employees are more involved in projects that can fulfil their psychological desire for instant gratification, instead of delayed gratification. Managers can exploit this aspect of human desire by involving employees in projects to deliver fast, diverse, and effective results.

11. Encouraging innovation, creativity, and welcoming new ideas

Each employee is unique and should be encouraged by their manager to be creative and voice out any suggestions or ideas, regardless of how meaningless or ridiculous they may sound.

Small or silly ideas from employees could be brainstormed sooner or later into something brilliant or exceptional. So, it’s important for managers to motivate their staff to take risks, venture into new stuff, and be innovative, even if mistakes may occur.

Employees become more and more daring and competitive—but in a good way—if they are motivated to be more creative in the face of uncertainty or fear.

12. Incentivizing the workplace: reward deserving employees

One major way to motivate employees is by providing rewards or incentives for successfully accomplished goals. Incentives and rewards can be motivating and make jobs to be fun and gratifying; in addition, it boosts employee morale and enthusiasm and can create friendly competition in workplaces.

Imagine how competitive each employee could become if their manager puts up a reward of $10, $100, or $1,000, or offers to give employees an afternoon off if they hit a particular target.

Providing employees with incentives or ongoing opportunities in recognition of their efforts will help to keep them motivated for prolonged periods of time.

13. Encouraging employee flexibility and autonomy

One survey determined that 59% of respondents preferred “flexibility” to salary or other benefits, while 77% preferred to work for a company that offers them the flexibility to work autonomously—from anywhere.

Managers who value autonomy motivate their employees by trusting them and giving them encouragement and space to discharge their duties at the workplace and outside the workplace which could also be at home.

Flexibility in a work environment can be interpreted and applied in various ways. It’s important to note that what is flexible for one employee may not be flexible for another.

14. Enhancing relationships by supporting bonding outside of the workplace 

Giving employees a chance or platform to bond outside of the work environment makes it easier for them to associate much more with each other and build more trust among them.

There can be more personal, stronger, and meaningful connections between employees of the same team if they are also allowed to associate in informal and non-work-related settings. In fact, associating together outdoors or away from a work environment can also serve as a motivational boost.

Trust has a positive impact on the workplace and creates a stronger culture of transparency and teamwork from which team members can better motivate each another.

15. Keeping employees consistently fuelled regardless of their location

There is a reason why the following popular slogan seemingly resonates with everyone: “You’re not you when you’re hungry”.

Almost everybody has been there one or more times in their life: a situation whereby we can’t tell whether we’re hungry, tired, or both, but we know full well that we’ve reached a tipping point where we’re hardly able to continue working because of hunger—not sufficient fuelled up!

Whether work is being done in the office or remotely—from home—it’s essential for a manager to ensure that their employees have the fuel they need to get work done and succeed. Good food, healthy snacks, or beverages should be provided periodically to give employees some extra motivation boost.

16. Acknowledging and respecting employees’ work-life balance

It’s important to have some level of balance between work activities and personal life activities which are both necessary. Employees will hardly be able to get the needed motivation to work and produce quality results if they are overworked and don’t have time for their personal life.

Employees would feel much more contented, happier, and comfortable if their respective jobs would allow them to take the time or a day off to focus on self-care or tackle family or emergent issues.

17. Taking workplace culture to the virtual world

In the present-day or contemporary times, regardless of where employees are working—in the office or remotely—it’s likely that a significant amount of contact or work occurs virtually.

Therefore, it makes so much sense to extend some of the company’s or organization’s culture to the virtual realm too: chat groups, WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter, etc.

18. Encouraging friendly competition

A competitive work environment is a fruitful or productive environment. Setting up some level of friendly competition among employees could go a long way in helping them and the organization to grow to greater heights. Managers can motivate employees by ensuring they participate in engaging, healthy, and uplifting challenges or competitions.

19. Avoid pitting employees against each another

As previously noted, friendly competition can be a good motivator for employees. However, things could become wayward or awry when friendly completion deforms into a cutthroat or ruthless competition or a culture of selfishness that seeks to ruin the happiness and stability of each employee in an organization.

Any manager who consistently pits the performance of individual employees against each other in a destructive manner is bound to attract failure at some point in time.

20. Managing employee conflicts appropriately

It’s not always possible to prevent conflict in a work environment. Managers would do well to ensure that any issues among staff are brought to their attention and resolved amicably and promptly.

A manager who is fair and unbiased when dealing with conflict between two or more employees will be able to resolve issues quickly and help their employees focus on their jobs instead of unnecessary drama which can be destructive in every regard.


As a manager, you may like to motivate your employees by applying the ideas listed in this article to motivate your employees. However, when trying the ideas, you may need to make modifications or adjustments to discover the ones that are more or less effective or don’t work at all.

Every work environment is different, and some of the ideas listed in this article may work well for your company, while other ones may not be suitable enough.

However, you can perfect your motivation strategy as you become more familiar with individual employees in your organization and get to understand their behaviors and what they are good or not good at.

Regardless, never forget that any employee who is interested in your organization and enjoys coming to work is a worthy investment.

Amidst Criticism, Millions Continue to Dream but Only Few Take Action

Criticism. Criticism. Criticism. What a waste of time and focus on criticism when it comes to turning your dreams into reality by taking action. Various kinds of criticisms prevent most people from taking action and progressing. But action must be taken to get the job done and achieve the ultimate goal—the dream.

Millions of people across the world dream of entrepreneurship and all kinds of wonderful ideas/concepts, but are afraid of taking the first and next steps because of criticism from themselves or other people: they are hampered by criticism or disbelief in themselves or crushed by criticism from other people.

Although we are presently living in 2022, it’s highly probable we would have been living in the past—say the 1500s, 1600s, 1800s, etc.—if the Thomas Edisons, the Leonardo da Vincis, the Bill Gates, the Nikola Teslas, and Robert Fultons of this world allowed criticism get into their heads and stop them from achieving their dreams which have put the world on a much higher level than it was in yesteryears.

Amidst uncertainty and potential criticism, the giants of the past and present times took relentless action and never seemed to care about the criticisms that would come their way if they had failed to achieve what they’ve become renowned for—GREAT INVENTIONS AND IDEAS THAT HAVE OBVIOUSLY LIFTED MANKIND TO TREMENDOUS HEIGHTS.  

People who think it can’t be done should not criticize those who are taking action to achieve uplifting results

In the long run, will it really matter if some unintelligent or inactive meathead criticizes or laughs at the actions you’ve been taking to realize your dreams? No, it won’t. What matters most is sticking in and sticking through.

Is the momentary pain of criticism or scorn really greater than the pain of regret you would experience in the future after realizing that another year has passed but you haven’t acted on your goals and realized or gotten closer to realizing your dreams?

Taking persistent action doesn’t only imply forcing yourself to do things that are uncomfortable or unpleasant—just for the sake of achieving long-term goals or dreams; it’s also about resisting the temptation to give in to criticism or remain mediocre in order to avoid criticism.

Staying in your comfort zone may seem like the safest thing to do to avoid or receive little criticism; however, it is too high a price to pay in order to remain average and never change your current situation or possibly that of humanity—our world—for the better!

Celebrate Your Achievements but Don’t Dwell On Them for Too Long

Many people may likely not be able to put it better than Steve Jobs did: “I think if you do something and it turns out pretty good, then you should go do something else wonderful, not dwell on it for too long. Just figure out what’s next”—what a great piece of advice to consider whenever we make the next big hit.

Nobody has to be on a “Steve Jobs-level” before realizing that celebrations or triumphs are okay; however, dwelling on them for too long can end up distracting and impeding further success and future growth in our areas of interest.

Have you achieved something great?  You’ve won a trophy? You’ve graduated from high school with the best grades? You’ve retired after 50+ years of achievement after achievement? No matter what you’ve accomplished, there will always be something greater to accomplish.

Despite that ordinary or extraordinary accomplishment you’ve put in the bag, don’t dwell on it for too long and allow it to become a fertile ground for the growth or possible outgrowth of laziness, excuses, inactiveness, negligence, and all types of dream killers.

To be human means to constantly challenge yourself, grow, and excel or strive to become better

Human beings are never finished products—never. Humans are meant to grow, improve, and strive for something higher, regardless of their respective ages.

It’s important at each point or stage in life to motivate yourself by celebrating your triumphs, no matter how little or big they are; however, resting on your laurels for too long can have a devastating effect if you don’t figure out the next challenge and face it squarely.

Instead of resting too long or forever on your accomplishments, ask yourself what you need to do to take your life to a higher level. Higher levels are always there for the taking, no matter what we’ve achieved in the past.

Many people are supposed to be on a much higher level than where they are at the moment

Inactivity and lack of proper work ethic are two reasons for the great divide between “continuous success” and “discontinuous or no success”. Every opportunity or time wasted on prolonged and unnecessary celebrations may kill our first love for continuous success and growth.

Many scholars, athletes, writers, bloggers, doctors, basketballers, etc., actually achieved some level of success but will continue to remain on an average or sub-par level if they dwell too much on one or few successful moments, instead of putting in more work.

Treat your wonderful accomplishments as opportunities to accomplish even more wonderful things; don’t use them as landing spots for anything that has the potential to draw you backwards into the nether regions of mediocrity.

Your Forbidden Fruit is Sweet, But it’s Also Your Worst Enemy!

It’s easy for people to yield to their lusts like how good servants obey their masters. But it is important to note that obeying certain lusts can enslave you; on the other hand, rejecting them can certify your chances of gaining more freedom, power, and success.

The reward you get for not succumbing to your forbidden fruit of temptations and lusts would always outweigh and make up for the comparably little price you have to pay for missing out on them or other kinds of instant gratification.

What many people fail to see is that, if they completely reject their forbidden fruits, temptations, and lusts, their self-discipline will become strong enough and elevate them to become masters of their individual lives.

At the level of a master, they can successfully choose and achieve their own goals, instead of following the whirlwind of spontaneous temptations that originate from questionable activities, and are highly influenced by them.

Yes, your forbidden fruit is the sweetest. But it is also your enemy

We all know the popular story about the fall of Adam and Eve and how the world might have been completely different if the story were actually true—and they had decided to neglect their sweet forbidden fruit, instead of eating it.

Some people think they are being enslaved by others, even when they enslave themselves by eating junk food, not adhering to strict or professional routines, carelessly exposing themselves to discomfort, and accepting everything that the majority of other people regard as “spicy”, such as fraud, laziness, gluttony, and different kinds of vices.

No matter how much pleasure your forbidden fruit, laziness, or temptation can bring at the moment, it’s important to see them for what they really are—the great enemies standing against you on your path to freedom, power, and success.

Thus, the wake-up call would be: beware of our individual forbidden fruits, temptations, and lusts which are usually the sweetest out there in the universe. Understand what I mean?

If it’s not so pleasant to submit to our lusts and temptations and eat the forbidden fruit, then people would hardly struggle with self-discipline. But because it’s always pleasant to eat the forbidden fruit and yield to the hidden power of our lusts, we often fail to control their urges.

In fact, many people aren’t able to exert even a little influence in the right direction. As a result, they fail to control their lives, while they are helplessly and consistently being manipulated by temptations and passing or temporary satisfactions.

How Much do You Spend: “Developing Your Inner World” vs “Enhancing Your External Appearance”?

Most of us fear the declination or deterioration of our physical appearance (our body) and will do anything to prevent it from happening, even if it means sacrificing our inner world which is a major pillar in our life.

How pathetic: we care much more about the state and level of perfection of our physical bodies but don’t care a bit or as much for our inner world, a great gift that can guide our soul, our eternal spirit.

Although both reality and experience prove that, without the spirit, the body would be dead and remain dead, a good number of us behave as if the spirit would be dead without the body. In fact, we treat the body as if it is the beginning and end of life. Well, reality proves the direct opposite.

Our spending habits—which include the energy, time, and money we invest in certain activities—reveal our true priorities and show where the bulk of our allegiance clearly lies.

Make a quick comparison between how much (time, money, and concentration) you spend on your external appearance, and how much you also expend on developing your inner world. Is the ratio or proportion between them healthy?

Or, is the ratio between the two so unhealthy that you find it difficult to justify spending on personal growth (developing your inner world) but find it easy to invest everything in your superficial external appearance?

How would it help in the long run if you successfully work on your external appearance, perfect it and become full of it, but you—on the other hand—remain shallow or empty on the inside (the inner world) because you were complacent or didn’t work on it a bit or nearly as much?

Considering how much weight our inner world actually holds in the scheme of life, it sounds odd, but not surprising, that many people around the world spend countless amounts of time, money, and concentration on improving their external appearance through the use of cosmetics, supplements, expensive clothes, plastic surgery, and other procedures.

On the other hand, the same people spend little to nothing of their time, money, and concentration on improving their inner world, talents, and abilities which can greatly direct and define their destinies.

To avoid blips in destiny, it’s important to spend your time, money, and concentration on developing your inner world as much as or more than you would on your external appearance or physical body.

Isn’t it wiser to spend time more developing self-restraint against unnecessary spending, than to spend it on feeding or excesses without restraint, only to later end up struggling to fix all issues that are products of unnecessary spending?

In many instances, instead of buying another expensive pair of jeans, is it not more intelligent and more profitable to spend time and money on an inexpensive book that can lighten up your path and drastically change your inner world and life.

Nobody may even notice how well you are developing internally, but it doesn’t matter because, in the long run, everyone who really takes notice will eventually realize that you’re more valuable than someone who is always noticed and praised for buying new clothes, even though they are deteriorating on the inside as they continue on the path of inner complacency, instead of following the path of self-growth.

Honesty is the Best Policy Over the Long term Where Truth Always Emerges and Stands Tall

Imagine what a world of honesty would mean for everyone, including the world itself. Unfortunately, one of the greatest challenges for the self-discipline of many people is to stop lying—it is difficult to abide by the resolution to be honest and stop lying.

Many of us lie whenever we encounter opportunities to do so, wherever we go, and in whatever we do. Lying is so common that it seems it’s socially allowable to lie a little (telling a white lie) in order to make one’s self, resume, finances, height, or shape look different—or even better—than it really is, especially on the internet (personal blogs, dating sites, job sites, etc.), and even offline—in person.

Truth hardly shows up over the short term. Even when it has not yet shown up, of what benefit is it gain the whole world by being dishonest in the short term, but eventually lose everything valuable over the long term where the truth always emerges and finds out dishonesty?

History has lots of tales about it: the trails of dishonesty that have been causing so many problems and ills in the beautiful garden called society. Honesty and truth—strong ingredients of integrity—have always resided predominantly in virtuous people; on the other hand, both have been seriously lacking in people who are the opposite—immoral, mischievous, etc.

If you’re under the temptation to sacrifice honesty on the plate of short-term gains, recall and activate and radiate the old saying: “honesty is the best policy” over the long-term, the permanent, and eternal.

Honesty is one of the best pillars that can strengthen or establish your integrity, especially over the long term where the truth always emerges and stands tall in a manner that might not always be possible over the short term.

It is one thing to be honest and deny yourself of something valuable; it is a completely different thing to be dishonest when you think that dishonesty would make you look better, only to eventually find out over the long term that it has destroyed you or your relationship with someone whom you cherish deeply.

So, when the truth emerges and stands tall at the end of the day—over the long term—will you have any sense of honesty left in you? If you won’t, then unfortunately, whatever you have left will likely eat away at your conscience.


Not only should honesty be exhibited because it is the right thing to do; but it should also be exhibited because the truth will eventually find a way out. Where will you stand when the truth shows up and beams for the whole world to see?

Lastly: being honest doesn’t mean you should turn your life into an open book and allow everyone to know everything about you. As honest as any society would like and expect us to be, we have the right to keep some things to ourselves in a wise manner.

Optimism can Improve Your Ability to See the World in Brighter Colors

Oftentimes, life is very difficult, with no roller coaster and no fun. I mean it! The adversities of life sap lots of energy out of people, steal their destinies, and leave them in hopeless situations that can’t support optimism, no matter how much it (optimism) may be.

In the midst of it all, where does your allegiance lie? Where do you focus when the chips are down, when you hit low? Does your allegiance lie on positives or negatives—in optimism or pessimism? It might not be wrong to assume that you’re quite unfortunate if your allegiance lies in pessimism, in negativity.

But it might also not be wrong to assume that you have the right to place your allegiance on negatives. Why? Because optimism is not for everybody. Again, why? Because it doesn’t work for everybody.

But, despite the fact that it doesn’t work for everybody, it is equally true that a healthy dose or practice of optimism can make can you see the world in brighter colors, very brilliant colors, even when the going gets tough and the world turns upside down.

The Bible and history have proven again and again that, “as a man thinks in his heart, so he is”. The same is applicable to optimism: as a man thinks about optimism, he actually tends to become optimistic, until he actually lives optimistically and in surprising abundance.

It’s our duty to keep our hearts optimistic and guard them against all forms of pessimism

Proverbs 4: 23 says, “keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it [are] the issues of life. I now say something similar to you: keep your heart optimistic, for out of it comes abundance and scarcity which are two of the many pair of opposites of life.

It’s our duty to feed our minds with positive or optimistic information and experiences and build a mentality that expects the best from life, regardless of how and where the tide is turning for good or bad, better or worse. It’s our duty to focus on the invincibility of GOD our Creator and the great powers He has placed in His universe, in life.

It is true that being optimistic or practicing optimism won’t necessarily make you become completely invulnerable to negative feelings or pessimism—far from it. For, as long as we remain alive, we will likely continue to be at war with negative dark forces which easily influence most people’s minds, tricking and training them to always think negatively.

The good news is that we are at liberty to stop or protect ourselves from this trend by meditating on or practicing optimism and always opening up or surrounding ourselves with positive input by reading inspirational, motivational, or positive books, watching positive visuals, listening to positive audios, etc. Feed your mind every day, and a sip of optimism a day will slowly drive away bits and bits of pessimism every day.

No matter how bad your situation is, you can start from somewhere, and if you are self-disciplined enough to guard or keep your heart diligently, after some time period you will come to realize that you have been gradually and increasingly igniting optimism and the strong positive feeling that, regardless of what is happening around you, things will eventually turn out well and the best will come your way.

By gradually strengthening this feeling, you can actually draw in a larger-than-life reality of it. Even before becoming an expert at honing and radiating optimism, sipping optimism each day can greatly improve the way you see the world and eventually make you see it in much brighter colors than you ever expected.

Optimism can have a long-term positive impact on your emotions, mentality, faith, and destiny. An optimistic or positive attitude is essential for people who want to build self-discipline and establish a culture or brand that stands out. What’s the point of being self-disciplined enough to deny yourself instant gratification if you are not optimistic that you’ll achieve your goals in the future?

Whenever the tide is rough and everywhere looks gloomy and negative and all hope seems to be lost, that’s the time we—especially those who suffer from pessimism—really need inspiration or positive input to see the world in the brighter colors of our inner vision.

The brighter colors may be hidden, but they are there, waiting to be turned on. That’s what they were made for: to be turned on at will. Unfortunately, many of us are not aware of, haven’t discovered, or have lost our ability to be optimistic enough to save our emotions, nerves, faith, future, and destiny.

Easy steps to become optimistic—and even more optimistic

1. Thank GOD or Life for all the things you have received since the day you were born empty-handed. Be content with what you have and aspire higher, but learn to express gratitude for what you already have.

If you are not content or happy with what you have at the moment, it will be difficult or impossible for you to be satisfied with what you will receive tomorrow.

2. Practice and make it a habit not to entertain negative experiences and thoughts. Only entertain them if you are looking for opportunities and lessons. It’s actually possible to turn some negative experiences around and achieve greatness from them.

An experience may be bad for you only if view it as such. As we tend to look more at negatives for problems, we should learn to also look at negatives for lessons or opportunities to become better, change our lives, and give them positive meanings.

3. Open up or surround yourself with positive input. We cannot over-stress this point enough. The truth is that if you only entertain negative thoughts, read fear-mongering news, and hang out with pessimistic people from any background, you’ll likely have a hard time practicing or exhibiting optimism.

I encourage you to read inspirational, motivational, or positive books, watch positive visuals, listen to positive audios, etc. And always remember that a sip of optimism a day will slowly continue to drive away bits and bits of pessimism every day.

Often, the Line Between Failure & Success is so Thin that We Hardly Know When We’re Right There

In a world of difficulties, hardships, challenges, and hustles, being a genius or achieving success often comes by making consistent efforts. But while making those consistent efforts, many people fail or fall off the cliff when they get to the tipping point which, if they could just add a bit more effort, would produce large effects and great success.

The thing is that, after giving their all, so many people fail to recognize when they’ve reached the tipping point or line between failure and success. The next time you feel like giving up, even though you’ve invested a ton of time, patience, money, and whatnot, persuade yourself to push a little bit longer because you might just be on the thin line between failure and success.

Every time we’ve tried and tried and tried and gone some distance, chances are that success is just around the corner, but we fail to recognize it because of a few or countless reasons: the line between failure and success is so thin that we barely realize that we’ve reached it or even passed it.

It’s unfortunate how lots of people have thrown up their hands or given up at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience, and a little more hustle would achieve the success they’ve been craving for since forever.

If we are not careful, the more the tide of challenges clears out, the more our impatience would wear thin, and we may hardly know when we’re just an inch away from success: sometimes, our prospects may seem darkest when they’re right there at the turning point to success—a point where many fail to recognize that a little more effort and persistence could turn hopeless failure into glorious success.

Failure only arrives eventually when we give up and decide not to continue trying any longer. Whenever you reach a point where start believing that you can no longer go on, then your self-discipline has begun to run out of gas; rather than throwing up your hands in defeat, move the opposite direction and persist just a little bit longer because success could just be around the corner.

Humility Helps to Maintain Self-control

Humility or humbleness goes a considerable or long way in helping to keep our self-control or self-discipline in check! To have better control over our urges, it’s important not to take our self-discipline for granted.

Humility can be easily decimated by arrogance, and vice-versa: assuming an invincible lifestyle or filling up the heart with arrogance or false pride on one end, could gradually reduce or completely erase any humility or humbleness we might have on the other end.

Arrogant people and those who think they are invincible would, more often than not, want to test themselves and their willpower unnecessarily in order to prove how unbeatable they are. In many cases, testing some waters unnecessarily, eventually leads to downfall.

History and research show that arrogant leaders and successful people who are filled with self-pride had:

  • the tendency to overestimate their capabilities
  • an inflated belief in their self-control, and
  • exhibited controlling impulsive behaviors on the people and activities under their control.

By ramping up their egos, they overexposed themselves to temptations and failures: warmongering leaders put themselves in situations that ousted them from power; recovering smokers put themselves in situations that tempted them to smoke; recovering patients put themselves in situations that made them lose their health; etc.

Lack of humility and overinflating the ego increased the risk of a relapse and led to decline and ultimate ruin. Actually, pride goes before a fall. So, one really needs to be aware of pride.

Our self-discipline is like prosperity. It’s possible for it to stay with us for a long time, but it’s equally possible for it to disappear if we don’t keep our humility in check or tweak it the right way!

Moderation Shouldn’t Serve as an Excuse Not to Do or Be Your Best

Whenever we make firm resolutions to develop ourselves or achieve our goals, we might have the tendency or be tempted to push ourselves way beyond our limit which is the maximum we are capable of doing or producing around a particular time.

Although it is true that our ambitiousness is a virtue we must use to the maximum or extreme, it is equally true that there is some danger involved in doing things to the extreme and going from one extreme to another.

Therefore, we must be prudent on how we handle or use moderation: if you’ve been struggling to work for one or two hours per day, suddenly forcing yourself to work for sixteen hours per day will likely not end with the desired outcome. In fact, it could end in a breakdown or wear out.

If you’re struggling to restrict your appetite by eating once a day or per two days, then suddenly imposing a 7-day fast on yourself would e stressful and likely not end with the desired outcome.

Find somewhere between the extremes—“the middle way”. Stick to it and work on continuously increasing it over time and when you look back, you will see progress. In fact, based on the results you achieve, you could decide whether to still stretch your maximum, your extreme, or your limit!

As much as it is advisable for everybody to push their limit and explore greater boundaries, we don’t need to put our lives, health, emotions, or environment at risk just because we want to achieve good or great results.

Subjecting yourself to extreme hardships could have some merits, but it may not always bring the desired sustainability we’d like to have over the long term. In fact, it could be downright dangerous to subject ourselves to certain extremes!

Using the extreme approach over the long term could wear you and your life out without allowing you to get close to your goals. In whatever you do, don’t waste time hanging around; at the same time, don’t become busy to such an extent that you’re literally sucking the life out of your own life!

Remember to apply moderation in all things—including moderation itself. And if you need to apply a more extreme approach, do so for a fair or short period of time, and in a way that could be beneficial to your goals.

Now let’s take a look at moderation from a different perspective: whenever people use it as an excuse to not do their best: whenever people make mediocrity out of moderation and deprive themselves of doing or being at their best.

Moderation is key but it can go bad if one forgets that going for little or much less can be a bad thing, and going to the extreme can also be a bad thing. Always remember that you can find somewhere between the extremes—“the middle way”—if you really wish to.

For instance, some moderation would be good if you’re trying to lift a heavy weight that you can barely lift off the floor. But what good does it serve you when you let moderation make you become comfortable with consistently lifting something that’s as light as a feather?

If you really want to work on your muscles, what’s valuable in bragging about lifting something that’s almost weightless? Why make mediocrity out of moderation and allow certain levels of moderation to limit your growth?

Beware of any type of moderation that allows you to stick to easy things that are well within grasp and, by so doing, doesn’t allow you to really grow. Furthermore, beware of any type of moderation that forces you to do something that you can barely do.

Generally, any moderation that lowers your standards could end up covering you with mediocrity: a male athlete who thinks that exercising once a week is great—because most of his friends exercise only once a month—will most likely stop challenging himself and become mediocre because of his misuse of moderation.

Although it can be important to inspire yourself by making comparisons with other people, it may be even more important to compare the state of your present self with that of your past self.

For instance, if today you’re still making the same output you were making a year ago when you started producing something, then perhaps you’ve not used moderation in a good or right way. It may be that you have even substituted moderation with self-congratulation.

The Earlier You Act, the Sooner You’ll be Through

Procrastination only stacks loads and even loads upon loads on us. Procrastination gives some people fewer loads to carry and some other people more, depending on their choices and actions.

Generally, many people have truckloads upon truckloads to carry and never seem to make headway with their duties and realize their dreams.

Only a few people are organized enough to act early or earlier on their stuff and get things done sooner—or even much sooner than usual! Yes, when it comes to getting stuff done on time, it is not compulsory or even advisable to copy exactly what other people are doing; however, it is admirable to imitate people in order to avoid procrastination at home, work, or anywhere in any endeavor.

If you really want to tackle procrastination effectively, the moment you realize you’re wasting time avoiding work or doing nothing, especially when you have a ton to do, immediately stop whatever unproductive thing you’re doing and just start acting or working.

“Thoughts” and the process of thinking usually get the most out of the people who lose to procrastination because, as they allow themselves to ponder over “starting” or “not starting” something, their resistance to “starting” increases, and sooner or later, this resistance to starting overwhelms and overcomes them, and they end up achieving nothing valuable or productive for a whole day, week, month, or significant period of time!

The trick of acting—instead of thinking (pondering)—works better than thinking

Acting early or earlier beats all unforeseen or hidden blocks. On the other hand, thinking or pondering sets us up for potential challenges that may overwhelm us, even when we’ve made a strong resolution to act on stuff earlier and get it done sooner.

“Acting early” is a trick that works because it ensures you maximum resistance against procrastination “at the onset”. It is crucial to make use of such a level of maximum resistance at the onset because the more we think about getting started and don’t act early enough, the more we become sluggish, allow time to pass by, and make it easier to procrastinate instead of actually getting started.

Once you always resist that urge or temptation “not to start” and you actually start performing a task—no matter how unpleasant it is—then you stand to gain some momentum and make it easier to start tasks and get them done instead of giving up and procrastinating.

Whenever you find yourself resisting or hesitating instead of acting early enough or earlier, then act immediately and deal with stuff early and “once and for all”. The earlier you act, the sooner you’ll be done with whatever stuff you act on.

An added advantage of acting early is that it creates more time to focus on new/other stuff and prevents thoughts of “unfinished business” from creeping up and rolling up and down the back of your mind.

Each little act of acting early can help you develop or establish and maintain a habit of choosing to start stuff early instead of allowing all types of stuff—easy, hard, etc.—to accumulate over the passage of time, as cobwebs do in a beautiful house.

If you adopt a habit or work ethic of acting early on stuff, you’ll eliminate or greatly reduce the impact of procrastination on your activities, goals, dreams, and life, and have more time and tranquillity at your fingertips.

The Hidden Value in Your Difficulties

Nowadays, people like dodging difficulties! In fact, it seems dodging difficulties or “looking for a way out” is the fastest growing norm of our time, especially as technology, AI, robots, and countless applications are always around the corner, waiting to be summoned and used to achieve results, quickly and effortlessly.

Although it may be pleasant to desire and experience only easy successes, if easy successes are the only successes you want, you’ll end up generally expecting quick, effortless results. This develops or strengthens a mentality that is weak against difficulties, and it can’t support resilience, patience, and some other important qualities that are crucial to survival.

A mentality that expects quick results—but is weak against the difficulties and the uncertainties of life—would also be unreliable when life hits you hard with challenges or difficulties; in addition, you’ll likely not have the mental toughness to withstand and overcome future difficulties, maybe even the small ones!

Although there is a big difference in value between easy successes and tough successes—which may even require sweat, tears, and blood—does it mean you should accomplish your goals by using only the most difficult successes, and neglecting or rejecting the easier or easiest ones?

Of course not! However, it’s important to note that you won’t stand much to benefit in the school of life if you deliberately avoid all difficulties without at least giving a thought or more about the potential values they may possess.

And yes, it may feel like a smart move to evade difficulties all the time. But the long term impact could end up limiting your potential and making you less potent enough to handle all possible scenarios of life, which include all positive and negative experiences of life.

Life contains a ton of load that we must carry, and the load can take a toll on anyone who is not fit enough to withstand its difficulties—not only its ease which, as we all know, can never be a problem!

Because we all most likely have big, ambitious, and demanding long term goals where our level and power of self-discipline grows strong and shines more in difficulties than in ease—this instills the greatest feeling of having accomplished something worth doing.

Without Patience, Even Millions of Resources & Sacrifices Would Take You Nowhere

Generally, no matter how urgently any pregnant woman wants a child, she has to be patient for nine months to have one. No matter how brilliant a college student is, he or she must spend at least the duration of their course before receiving a certificate and exiting school.

Patience is a great virtue we need most times in combination with self-discipline. For without patience, even millions of resources and sacrifices won’t help us achieve certain goals, especially long-term ones.

If you really want to accomplish long-term goals, be ready to subdue any feelings of instant expectation—exercise patience! Self-discipline might be a necessary additive to keep patience in check as you wait for days, weeks, months, or years to achieve a big result.

Although sometimes you can force results more quickly—by working harder or being more diligent—in many instances, great or impactful results take time and there is just no way on Earth to cut corners or rush to completion.

No matter how many resources you invest or sacrifices you make, without patience and probably self-discipline, you’ll just end up getting nowhere. Like undergoing necessary stages of development or growing from a teenager to an adult, some things only follow a natural order that we can’t control.

If you fail to recognize this and the things that need patience and cannot be rushed, you might not be able to muster and exert enough patience; even when you apply some patience, you might end up misapplying the self-discipline needed to keep your patience in check.

As a result, you might end up achieving nothing instead of eventually achieving something or anything. For example, there is a natural limit to the quantity of fat our bodies can burn per week without breaking down our muscles.

But if we try to rush the natural process by starving ourselves, then the most likely outcome is that we would end up not only going back to square one—or the land of nowhere—but we would put on some additional body fat or weight.

Even with immaterial things such as developing and controlling our minds to eventually radiate optimism, we can’t force ourselves to achieve results overnight.

Transforming or rewiring your mind and brain takes time, and no matter how much sacrifice, time, and resources you spend practicing meditation or reading books about mind or emotional control, you can’t evade a process that requires time.

Lack of sufficient patience might even cause you to lose faith in something that other people have tried and achieved results by remaining steadfast and applying patience.

Generally, people who have taken years or decades to develop a certain habit or trait shouldn’t expect to reverse it completely within a few days, weeks, months, or years.

Approach life with the belief and mentality that there is a process and time for everything and you will always do your best; but in so doing, you won’t allow impatience and its children—discouragement, frustration, etc.—to wear you down if the process is slow or moves slowly.

It would be as meaningless as a pregnant woman who is complaining that she hasn’t conceived a child, even when she is fully aware that her pregnancy hasn’t lasted up to nine months.

How do You Garden Your Own Self-Control?

Self-control is very crucial in many areas of life. Without it, we can become slaves to the things that are around us or the things that control us: we can find ourselves controlled and overwhelmed by food, money, lust, our words, material and immaterial excesses, etc.

Being able to control ourselves empowers us to control potential and actual material and immaterial excesses or overindulgences. But it’s not so easy for a lot of people to exert sufficient self-control, the type that can put more power in their hands and even make them unshakeable.

The way we handle our respective self-control meters determines our individual results in many areas of life. There is an innate and sensible reason why people agree with this popular saying: “The way you make your bed is the way you sleep in it”. It is rightly so when it comes to self-control.

The Christian Bible (New Living Translation version) even stresses the point much better: Proverbs 25:28 states that “a person without self-control is like a city with broken down walls”.

How many times have we thrown our self-control under the bus and exposed ourselves to negligence, failure, and losses that were not necessary? How many times have we failed to refrain from doing things that are obviously killing us or hindering our chances?

Generally speaking, what type of gardener are you for your own self-control? How do you garden it? In other words, if your self-control was a plant, how well or badly is your self-control performing based on how you’ve been cultivating it over the past years—or since forever?

If it were possible to cultivate self-control without putting in some resolve or effort, then everybody would possess it. Unfortunately or fortunately—depending on your point of view—self-control is more like a plant that needs to be consistently cared for and cultivated, if not, it would wither away and leave you defenseless.

The people who have strong self-control are attentive to their “self-control”. They make sure that they take care of it properly and it acquires everything it needs to flourish and remain healthy.

Think about growing or sustaining your self-control in the same way: you must be prepared to “will” yourself and, in any situation that could lead to great results, prioritize long-term results over instant gratification.

When it comes to self-control, many people have the tendency to evade all kinds of things that can create discomfort and require our maximum effort.

Many people aren’t successful in their personal growth because they don’t exert enough self-control over their love for food, laziness, wasting countless hours in front of television, spending money on things that are unnecessary, and cutting corners anywhere possible.

If you want to acquire sufficient self-control or strengthen it much further, then get ready to neglect or put away many things; this may result in people ridiculing you, frowning upon you, misunderstanding you, and even calling you “weird”.

It can be discouraging and difficult to face adversity from people, family, and friends as you strive to improve yourself by exerting self-control. Whenever you face such adversity and feel out of sync with the rest of the world, remember that there are other people going through the same situation like you. Some will succeed and set the tone, while others won’t!

Forging a path is a responsibility that the vast majority of people would like to avoid. Remember that whenever you’re stumbling, failing, and need to straighten things out by exerting self-control, you’re forging your own path which will never be the same as that of other people.

Acting a Fool to Fool Your Way to Success

During the search for success, one aspect that many people frequently overlook or undervalue is the fact that if we wish to move higher up in life and rise above mediocrity, then we must be ready to learn and grow by making a fool out of ourselves every now and then.

It’s difficult or almost impossible to accurately predict the future. Regardless, we need to make decisions—the results which we may either live to be happy with, live to be okay with, or live to regret.

Even when everything convinces us that our decisions would work out well, not all of them actually end up working well. Once anybody is ready to step outside their comfort zone and fool around to acquire more knowledge and develop, they will develop an intuitive understanding of the difference between what works and what doesn’t work.

This would lead to discovery of answers people don’t have or know. Time always proves that we may need to act a fool—not purposely or intentionally—before we become wise and successful in life. Yes, we may need to fool our way to success.

No one said it better than Dan Waldschmidt: “You have to look like a fool while you’re looking for answers you don’t have”.

You’ve probably gotten into a new environment and told everyone about your plan to build a big business, but unfortunately—despite your level of education, intelligence, effort, enthusiasm, and the professionals at your disposal—you couldn’t get the job done.

You couldn’t realize your aspirations. You couldn’t deliver the impressive performance you dreamed of and promised people. Why? Because you quit after eventually losing all your money and savings.

Notwithstanding, despite investing in a business and foolishly or unintentionally losing all your money, you may have learned some priceless lessons and gained great wisdom alongside the obvious disappointment.

In a world where we are born as infants destined to act a fool or make mistakes and grow or mature, it is natural and quite normal to fool or fail our way to success.

Those who think otherwise tend to do anything possible to avoid opportunities for learning and growth, especially when the opportunities have the potential to become riddled by errors and mistakes or susceptible to somewhat foolish or naive decisions and failures.

Although acting a fool, humiliation, failure, and rejection are anything but pleasant, in a world of challenges, growth, and development, such negatives end up making some people become successful and everything but failure itself.

The ability to act a fool and withstand failure and rejection—while continuously pressing on without giving up—is one of the major differences between successful people and people who fail to realize their dreams.

As disagreeable as it sounds, occasionally acting a fool can be part of the process of becoming successful. Fortunately, the more you expose yourself to failure, foolhardiness, rejection, or humiliation, the more comfortable you will feel when handling the issues they create.

The Benefits of Preventing Luxuries from Becoming Necessities

Yes, it may be important to have luxuries, but it’s certainly not a necessity or as important as air, food, water, and some other elements of life. Simply put: any luxury is not a necessity.

Any luxury is not part of the basic foundation for living—but any necessity surely is! So why have so many of us consciously or subconsciously allowed luxuries to become necessities in our individual lives?

What’s the fuss about luxuries or “unessential things” when we can live perfectly well without them? Why have we become slaves to different types of luxuries when we can actually do without most or all of them?

Like a fresh newborn baby, the absence of luxuries or unessential things cannot take a toll on you except you allow it or become enslaved by it.

Deep down, we all know those unessential things: we all know the things we can certainly live without, even though we mistakenly or wrongly believe that we can’t live without them.

On one hand, lies unessential things; on the other lies the essential things or “necessities” of life—the basics which we can’t do or live without, such as air, water, and food. But surely, we can live without many of the luxuries and excesses in our lives.

Many of our emotional and financial problems stem from the obvious: we’ve allowed luxuries to become necessities in our individual lives, instead of preventing and controlling them along with the negative impact they could have on us.

The downside of allowing luxuries to become necessities

The problem with allowing luxuries to become necessities—or mistaking luxuries for necessities—is that it can rob you of developing or maintaining some required amount of self-discipline which you need to maintain a healthy state of equilibrium in various aspects of life.

How would a person eventually succeed in losing weight when they aren’t able to muster enough self-discipline and resolve to heed their doctor’s advice and actually retire from eating specific foods—say, burger, pizza, etc.

Why wouldn’t it be difficult for a person to prevent luxuries from becoming necessities when they spend every day looking for chances to make unessential or unnecessary luxuries the foundation of their life?

Why not prevent luxuries from becoming necessities?

Every now and then try to live or do without the luxuries or unessential things that many people erroneously or intentionally regard as necessities, and you’ll stand to gain valuable benefits in several ways.

Firstly it can push you beyond your comfort zone and help you develop higher levels of mental resilience which can enable you to recover more easily and readily from cases of depression and adversity that are linked to certain levels of dependence on luxuries or unessential things.

Secondly, it can serve as an eye-opener and help you discover the things you really need in your life as opposed to the things that you don’t need as much: it will provide food for thought as to the exact things that are not as important as you’ve been thinking they are.

This insight can inspire you to eradicate unessential things from your life and create more time and space to focus on essential or important things which are the necessities of life and general to all human beings regardless of their age, race, social status, etc.

Lastly, preventing luxuries from becoming necessities can help to enhance your ability to be more contented and feel happier with less—i.e., when you live only on necessities—in the absence of luxuries.

Behind the Scenes, Everybody Struggles in Some Areas of Life

Everyone’s life would appear to be a bit more equal if we view life in a much broader scope and come to this simple conclusion/fact: every man-made creation that exists around us was made by people who had experienced their own struggles behind the scenes while doing what they love and do best.

In all seriousness and reality, despite the carefree lifestyles shown in many movies and magazines, a carefree lifestyle just doesn’t exist. Dear soul, a life that’s void of struggles just doesn’t exist!

Nobody is superhuman enough to rid themselves of struggles in all areas of life, even if they portray or would like to portray a life of carefreeness to the whole wide world. Actually, everyone struggles in life—in fact, more often behind the scenes—emotionally, financially, materially, etc.

This might sound shocking, but nobody—including the world’s most brilliant and greatest geniuses—was, is, or will ever be as godlike or superhuman to the point of completely evading or making themselves immune from struggles.

In one way or another, everyone struggles. It’s not easy to notice that everyone struggles if you focus only on the successes or accomplishments of the people who are majorly changing the world around you.

We wrongly assume that successful or accomplished people usually don’t have struggles to contend with because they appear to be perfect, too intelligent, extremely productive, tremendously persistent, highly creative, enormously popular, so zealous, exceedingly beautiful, very strong, etc.

Even if you’ve authored many books on a subject and taught people how to handle struggles, that doesn’t mean you don’t or won’t ever have a load or truckload of struggles to deal or compete with.

The people behind the scenes of success or accomplishments have had to deal with the same types of problems as people who haven’t yet succeeded; the only difference is that they know how to cover their problems from the public and handle them a bit more effectively.

While achieving success, many great men and women had their own fair share of struggles and failures, found themselves unable to avoid or resist some temptations, succumbed to the allure of instant gratification, and even jeopardized some of their long-term goals. This is just part of being human—not superhuman or godlike!

As a matter of fact, the people whom we consider to be extremely successful aren’t that much different from us or anybody. Many of them struggled in the past: some had less willpower than we currently have, while others were less disciplined than us. However, they contended with and overcame their struggles.

Becoming intelligent, extremely productive, tremendously persistent, highly creative, and enormously popular is within everybody’s grasp—even if there’s some struggling to hustle with behind the scenes.

Neither you nor anybody else will ever live without having at least an ounce of struggle in one or more aspects of life: nobody will ever permanently distance themselves from the unpredictable struggles of life. Learn to accept and adapt to that, but keep your head up high as you come to terms with your conditions.

Stop Enslaving Yourself and Nobody Would Have Power to Enslave You

Self-enslavement is the bane of our world today. It’s so easy and normal to knowingly or unknowingly be a slave of our passions and fears and blame other people, situations, or things for our personal lapses and weaknesses that emanate from self-enslavement.

Each one of us really needs to look within ourselves before throwing blames outside, on other people or external factors: before pointing the finger at others and complaining that they’ve enslaved you, search within yourself and ascertain whether you have enslaved yourself or not.

Yes, look within. Take a cold hard stare at the best mirror which is your own soul—it honestly knows right and wrong—and you may find there slavish desires, submissive thoughts, and subservient habits that are enslaving your everyday life.

Conquer these entities so you can be in a better position to stop enslaving yourself. If you can put a halt to self-enslavement, then nobody would have the power to enslave you or compel you to sell your soul or life responsibilities and choices to other people.

Although external circumstances exert some influence, at the end of the day, the control of crucial aspects of your life depends on you

Conquer that lust which breaks your diet, instead of blaming your friends for constantly tempting you to get hold of something to eat, and in so doing, effortlessly break your diet. 

Work on your self-discipline which enslaves and wastes your finances, instead of faulting politicians and evil corporations who don’t spend an ounce of your money with you.

If you master or have power over your self-discipline, lust, patience, and the host of other inner attributes, then you achieve self-mastery and nobody would be able to enslave you or sway you from your earnest desires or volition.

Whenever your heart tells you to blame someone or an external factor for your lack of patience, self-discipline, or other inner quality, think about it again, and maybe again. Do we always have to point the finger and blame other people for our inability to be resolute or firm? Hell no!

The Best Way to Protect Yourself from Temptation is to Avoid It

Each person has one or more things that draw or try to draw them down into the mire. “Has” implies a certain type of craving or affection on our own part: in a way, our attraction to certain things contributes to our own downfall.

By not avoiding certain things or temptations altogether, we leave a gap or weakness which opens up a chance for certain things or temptations to take us down, tear us apart, or even destroy us completely.

Why go to the theaters at late hours when it causes you to wake up late and arrive at work late? Even if you’re highly self-disciplined, prevention is better than cure: avoiding theaters at late hours would protect your self-discipline from fighting against urges and help you wake up early and arrive at work early.

Sometimes we make it more difficult or get it entirely wrong: we think being self-disciplined is the best option and implies we should deliberately look for the things that can expose our weakness and lead us astray or into problems or complications.

We think because we have self-discipline, we can/should put ourselves to the test: we think we are strong enough to set ourselves up for possible failure.

It may be difficult to resist temptations but not difficult enough to avoid them—at least some of them: the best way to defend or protect yourself against temptations is to avoid them from the onset—completely.

Avoidance is better than exerting self-control

If you go to the bar every day or week, your chances of getting high or drunk would be higher than those of a person who avoids the bar and spends their time at home reading or doing something else.

The probability of cheating on your diet would be higher if you keep some forbidden foods at home. Keeping forbidden foods away from home will defend or protect you better from struggling with the urge to eat after taking forbidden foods home.

Your chances of consuming or selling hard drugs would be low or nil if you keep away from those bad boys in your neighborhood. You’d likely be more inclined to focus on your writing or online work if you could just close all those distracting websites or web pages.

Why not avoid those temptations in the first place, instead of exposing yourself and having to struggle, having to rely on your self-discipline or willpower to protect you from things you could have easily evaded at the best time—from the onset.

The bottom line: temptations are not worth it. Avoid them at all cost, instead of setting yourself up for an uphill battle that could really test your resolve and put you under possible immense pressure which may subdue you.

Some Choices We Make Have Consequences of a Lifetime

Newton’s third law states that “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction”. We would like to buttress the point much more and give a broader or more complete picture by stating that every “action” and “inaction” has consequences.

A choice is what you decide to do or not do. Some of the choices we make—actions or inactions—have consequences that can be effective or exert an influence throughout or beyond the duration of a lifetime.

Although the consequences of some of our choices are not always clear-cut or predictable, they can create more impact than other consequences.

The actions of Jesus, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Leonardo DaVinci, Thomas Jefferson, and many individuals have had and still have consequences that transcend a lifetime or an uncountable number of lifetimes.

We need to be careful how and where we tread because the choices (including the somewhat insignificant decisions) we make today can have a great and lasting consequence which can impact our future.

It may take only a second, a minute, or a moment to make the wrong choice and put your future in jeopardy. The choices we make in a second, minute, or moment can and do often create consequences that reverberate for many years, decades, or even lifetimes into the future.

Each choice you make sets up a consequence. If you make wrong choices consistently, like several times in a row, it becomes your standard or habitual method or procedure. This could set you up for problems.

Underestimating the consequences of your actions, inactions, and the possible impacts of repeatedly making wrong choices can profoundly affect the rest of your life.

What do you think may happen in the future if you make a particular choice now or tomorrow?

Whenever you’re faced with a choice or decision to make, remind yourself that any choice you make at the moment can create consequences that would not only affect the present moment but also the future.

The choices we make affect our future in many ways

It’s crucial and good to make the right choices. However, it is important to note that accidentally or unintentionally making a bad decision in life is part of being human. In fact, we can learn from it and become wiser.

To a certain degree, we all make mistakes and mess up from time to time, but what matters more than making a bad choice is how we learn from or deal with the mistakes or bad choices we make.

Are you going to continue making bad decisions or will you reassess your bad decisions and start moving in a different or more beneficial direction?

Many people make wrong choices, even though they think positively. If you think positive thoughts all day long, your life can still be a mess if you make bad decisions.

Fortunately, even when we make bad decisions, there’s still hope: with GOD on your side, it’s always possible to get your life back on the right track and clean up the mess created from bad choices.

Examples of choices and their possible consequences or outcomes which could even stretch over a lifetime

  • If you choose to prepare very well for an exam, the possible consequence or outcome is that you could get a high score or grade.
  • If you choose to stop attending classes and not prepare well for an exam, the possible consequence is that you could perform poorly or fail.
  • If you choose to play games during working hours, instead of working for your boss, you could get fired or sacked from work.
  • If you choose to spend the night partying and drinking with friends instead of preparing for your flight the next day, the possible consequence is that you could end up missing the flight and any opportunity that is linked with the flight.
  • If you choose to buy things that are “outside of your league”, the possible consequence is that you could run out of budget and end up being broke or owing a huge debt.
  • If you choose to continue applying for jobs, the possible consequence is that you could increase your chances of getting interviewed and landing a job.
  • But if you don’t prepare well for a job interview, the possible consequence is that you may not be given the job that is linked with the interview.
  • If you choose to put up a wrong or disgraceful attitude, the possible consequence is that you may ruffle some feathers and keep people away from you.
  • If you choose to be in an unhealthy or troublesome relationship, then the possible consequence is that you would hardly experience true love.
  • Etc.

Overcoming One Obstacle Simply Means You Can Overcome More

The great law of nature allows many things to have their way, including obstacles. Life on Earth is a life of obstacles and constraints. However, as negative as the word “obstacle” sounds, each obstacle is the way to growth and development!

Just think for a moment about how you successfully overcame some obstacles in the past. Those experiences made you to become better and stronger—however, only better and stronger enough to meet an even bigger obstacle later on!

It’s important to point out that obstacles keep life continuously developing, evolving, and interesting, especially when they are unexpectedly discovered to be the sure way to hidden treasures. It can be surprising to find out the number of opportunities that are sometimes clothed and disguised in obstacles.

Run away from every obstacle and you may be running away from a ton of opportunities that life wants us to access by breaking through those fortified lines called “obstacles”.

Obstacles have potential! Each time you come across an obstacle, you learn something and develop wisdom, strength, or gain a new perspective of life or an endeavor. Each time you’re done, you become a better version of yourself.

As long as the world keeps spinning, we’ll keep encountering obstacles in one form or another

The more you accomplish in life and move forward, the more things and obstacles you’d find standing in your way, even if those obstacles are actually the way to your true destiny or life calling.

There’s a popular Haitian proverb that states, “Behind mountains are more mountains”. Although you may have an obstacle, if you take a good look, you’d find an even greater one around the corner.

According to an Elysium myth, nobody overcomes an obstacle to enter a land of no obstacles. In other words, nobody stops encountering an obstacle after overcoming an obstacle. Obstacles are part of life, but they are the way to a higher life.

Each obstacle brings in its train a battle that can be used to eventually stand taller, make better progress, and evolve in harmony with the laws of nature which are fitted with obstacles.

There are and will always be more obstacles and bigger challenges along our way, but how we approach and handle them would be crucial in our quest to become better or the best version of our respective selves.

Overcoming one obstacle simply means you can overcome more obstacles which Mother Nature and her world seem to enjoy throwing at you because they are for your good and you have what it takes to handle them.

Therefore, be hopeful and cheerful while handling an obstacle or waiting for the next one. 

We Hardly Consider How Much Worse Things Could Have Been

No matter the situation you’re in, things could have been much worse than they have been. If you unfortunately lose money, take note that you could have lost all your property. If you unfortunately lose your job, take note that you could have lost your life.

That’s just the way it is: generally, we’re not in charge of many things in life and in our lives. So, even if we get into a seriously challenging and trying situation—worst case scenario—we have to hope for the best outcome while being thankful that the trying situation isn’t much worse.

Accepting the challenges posed by your worst obstacles or unfortunate circumstances—rather than rejecting or resenting them—can help you become a different and stronger person who is better adjusted to the reality of the constraints or challenges from terrible situations.

The constraints in life can still lead us to our desired destination

Oftentimes, it doesn’t seem as if obstacles and constraints would work to our advantage—but they can and sometimes do, especially if we accept them and allow them to dictate things a bit or completely.

Constraints force us to go places we’d never want or think of; they push us to develop skills we’d otherwise leave undeveloped. Everybody would like to have developed or many developed skills or virtues, but that isn’t up to us. It is up to Life—to GOD.

Life pushes us: It tells us to go here and there. It places constraints or limitations around us. In the midst of it all, we’d be unwise to argue with or yell at Life. We’d be better off accepting some so-called “unacceptable situations” and forging ahead with optimism, while understanding that situations could have been worse than they are.

If you aren’t the cause of your problem, accept your situation and move on

Moving on from a problem or defeat doesn’t mean you’ve given up. What it means is that you’ve accepted a challenge and—if you are the courageous type—would try to turn it upside down and use it to your advantage.

Appreciate the situation of your problem. Accept what you have. Learn to be at peace with it. Instead of wasting time, wailing, and complaining, accept that failure or constraint and move on. To stress the point further, even if the inconceivable becomes conceivable or presents itself, be ready to accept it and move on.

Many life lessons teach us that anything can happen. Many fortunate and unfortunate events are controlled by fate or better “the Will of GOD”. Fate or the Will of GOD is the unseen power or greatest force that shapes our lives and destinies.

We definitely had nothing to do with being born black, white, or any other color—none of us had any influence on it. The constraints in life make certain things that happen, to happen, and no one else but GOD would ever change them.

In many aspects of life, it could be helpful to consider how much worse things could have been. We should be humble and flexible enough to acknowledge that certain things are just way beyond us, and both the known and unknown could change our initial plans at any time.

While Hoping for the Best, Also Prepare for the Worst

Your plans may look all set up and geared for success until, out of nowhere, things suddenly go wrong. In fact, on the eve of launching a major initiative, things may go wrong and your project may even fail entirely.

As you hope for the best, prepare for the worst because the worst can show up at any moment; not to hurt you, but teach you how to envision in advance that anything could or may go wrong; it could help you understand why you shouldn’t put all your hopes or eggs in one porous basket.

Many plans fail for preventable reasons, and many people don’t have a second or backup plan because they don’t consider or refuse to acknowledge that something may go wrong out of nowhere.

What we think we deserve is rarely what we get precisely

While hoping for the best, what we mostly end up getting only resembles what we actually planned for or set our minds on in the beginning. Although we know this fact, we still act as if we’re ignorant of it, and we’re repeatedly surprised when misfortune unfolds on the run to the future.

Mike Tyson, a famous boxer, who pondered on the collapse of his fortune and fame, once stated that “If you’re not humble. Life will visit humbleness upon you”.

If we learn how to consider worst-case scenarios while we hope for the best, we won’t get into an emotional mess or catastrophe at critical and disastrous points in our lifetimes.

As we think and work on a plan, it is also important to consider the things that may go wrong, or that things may go wrong and block that plan: storms could arise, and the person we depend on the most may become sick; we may even be visited by the misfortunes of Mother Nature herself—oh, what a world of uncertainty we live in!

Always be prepared to get disrupted; in fact, consider every possible disruption in your plans

The best way to be balanced in a world of uncertainty is to be fit for both defeat and victory—we have to be prepared for the best and worst and consider disruptions as part of life.

Prepare that whenever life sucks, you’ll better manage the situation and be okay. Prepare that, even if you’re dependent on other people, not everyone can always be counted on. Unfortunately, sometimes we’re the ones who are our own worst enemy, not other people.

We and everyone could make mistakes and destroy our personal plans—not every time, but likely some or most of the time. If you assume that everything will always work out, you may become surprised, miserable, and have a difficult time accepting misfortune and moving on with life when disruptions set in.

Contrary to most people’s expectations, things could actually become worse before they become better

Even if people would call you a pessimist, learn to expect the worst and be calm before a storm arises. It’s better to be a pessimist who believes that all terrible things will work for your good, than to be caught off guard by hoping for the best and never preparing for the worst when it eventually arrives. 

In a world of misfortune, put yourself in the best position possible by preparing your mind in advance for adversity. Get prepared for adversity to be as hard as possible and as hard as it can oftentimes actually be.

The fact that the worst thing can happen doesn’t mean the worst thing will permanently remain worse. Expected failure is easier to manage than unexpected failure. If you think that things may go wrong, nothing that eventually goes wrong will catch you by surprise.

The person who is prepared to be disappointed won’t actually become disappointed when the wheels fall off; in fact, they would have the strength to bear disappointment.

While we always hope for the best during times of peace, it is advisable to prepare for the worst; doing so would give us time to raise our inner or emotional defenses and also help us resist breaking into pieces when things don’t go according to our plans.

Be ready for success but also prepare for failure!

Be Ready in Case None of Your Best Efforts Work

At times, no matter how much faith we have, things might not just work out the way we wish. However, this doesn’t mean we should give up trying—or more importantly, our future—when things don’t work out according to our desire.

Each one of us has the ability to always think clearly and do things creatively, and nothing in the world can ever stop us from trying our best or putting in our best efforts.

Despite all our creativity, efforts, and dedication, fortune can misbehave at any moment and create obstacles that may be impossible for us to overcome.

One obvious truth is that we can’t always be in control of the world around us: we can’t always run things the way or manner like. 

Even if we have the greatest faith in the world and act rightly, we may still end up falling short or failing anyway. Therefore, it’s important for us to be prepared at all times in case anything goes wrong!

Some things are or will be bigger than us, but we can still continue to advance or evolve for the better

Yes, some things are and will be bigger than us, but nothing can ever prevent us from trying one thing or another. Some paths may be impassable and some of our actions may be rendered impossible.

But this doesn’t necessarily mean that we are completely unfortunate. Why? Because we can use such circumstances as opportunities to acquire some virtues, abilities, or skills—even if it involves learning to be humble and accept that unfortunate things could happen.

In every situation that helps or hinders our progress—whether it’s fortunate or unfortunate—we are presented with a new path that can open a new or better part of us.

If you love someone, but the person hurt you, a new path could open for you to practice forgiveness. If you lost all you have, a new path could unfold for you to buckle up, face reality, and hustle to gain more than all you lost or ever had in your life.

Problems present chances or opportunities for us to try, do the best that we possibly can, or even become better. But we must be willing to play our part and roll the dice, even if we will end up losing.

At times, no amount of thinking, planning, zeal, effort, and dedication—no matter how hard we try—will change the fact that certain things won’t work at the end of the day.

Therefore, be prepared that at the end of the day, even your best efforts may not work. Anyone who pursues a goal comes face-to-face with this reality, again and again.

Try all you can to get things done, be ready to accept whatever verdict comes, and move on instantly to whatever is next on the path to your future and your destiny.

Don’t Wait for Chances—Look for Chances and Seize Them by the Horn

The most successful people are not those who have waited for chances, but those who have searched for chances, besieged chances, conquered chances, taken over chances, and used chances to achieve greatness, even when the chances were seriously challenging.

In case you look for a chance and find one that is a negative situation or leads to failure, you can still use that failure as a teachable moment and later on apply any lessons you learn from it.

It is true that while looking for chances, we may run into negative situations. But we have to learn how to absorb the power of negative situations and infuse ourselves with energy that can propel us to success.

If you think it’s enough to only take advantage of the chances or opportunities that come to you, instead of looking for them, you may likely fall short of greatness which is mostly attained by looking for chances, and besieging and seizing them.

One effective thing you must do is learn how to press your buttons and move forward even when everybody around you or everyone in a negative situation sees only disaster.

Never forget that during apparently negative moments, when most people or everyone is besieged and seized by discouragement, you can still act unexpectedly and swiftly and seize chances in a way that can pull off a great victory.

We shouldn’t always ignore every negative situation and allow the crises they contain to become a waste. Crises could provide opportunities for us to achieve things we couldn’t achieve before or without crises.

If you observe the great successes or achievements of the past and present, you will clearly notice that, while looking for chances, some people stumbled across negative events which they seized and used to achieve success or push through much-needed reforms. We all can still do the same in our lives.

If you plan to use the chances you’ve found, but run into accidents or failures, you can still use them to your advantage

Have you become sick and are tied to your bed? Well, you now have time to write or think and develop more or better plans for your future.

Have you lost your relationship? Well, you now have time to look for a better one or even the best one out there.

Learn to look for chances in negative situations, seize their moments, and bring life to the plans that have been latent or sitting dormant in your mind.

While other people are shying away from every negative situation, and avoiding every trouble in a world that’s designed to be full of troubles, do the opposite: become your best version in seemingly difficult circumstances; turn tragedies or misfortunes to your advantage.

Don’t always focus on the negatives in some of the chances you seek for. Stop feeling disappointed and sorry for yourself. And never forget that life always moves on and favors the bold and brave who are able to seize chances even when they contain a ton of negativity.

We complain that we haven’t been given chances or opportunities, but we have—chances always exist, even in seemingly negative situations

At certain moments during our brief existence in this physical life, when we look for chances but run into frustrating or unfair challenges or trials, are we fond of running away from the adversity they throw at us or do we use the adversity to mount an offense that can lead us to success?

More precisely, do we look deeper into our problems and challenges in order to find opportunities or solutions that we’ve long been waiting for? If we don’t do so—in order to look for chances and take them—then it’s on us, and no one else.

When other people are waiting for chances, don’t wait; go out and look for them until you find them. And if eventually, you end up finding them but they are negative or challenging, instead of focusing on the negativity and disaster radiating from them, look further for positives and any opportunities.

Overcoming Obstacles by Using Obstacles Against Themselves

Overcoming an obstacle surely requires taking action. Action has many definitions…taking action does not necessarily require force or motion for it to be effective—implying that we can take firm action by not acting as the average person would.

Sometimes, the best or easiest way to overcome an obstacle is by halting, stepping aside, remaining a bit laid back, and even letting the obstacle advance towards you, instead of attacking it when the opportunity arises.

In many regards, inaction or dormancy is enough action. Everything doesn’t need to be as active or forceful as people or society would expect. We are at liberty to act in ways that would make any obstacle absorb its own power and destroy itself, but still work for us on the other hand.

Perhaps, your obstacle or enemy looks really insurmountable, as it did against Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, and many others who concentrated on overcoming obstacles by pitching love against hatred, and peace against violence, injustice, and intimidation. 

Some obstacles may be impossible to defeat, regardless of the action you take or the amount of effort you put in. Instead of using your own unlimited resources to attack, why not find a way to use your obstacle’s resources and adversity against its totality—against itself.

It hardly ever occurs to us that, in some cases, standing still or moving backward is the best way to advance

Actually, sometimes we need to take action. But we also have to acknowledge that inaction—restraining ourselves or “holding back”—might be the best action to eliminate the blocks on our respective paths.

Sometimes, each person needs to have patience or a bit more patience than the patience they have cultivated in their life: sometimes, we just need to wait for obstacles to dry up or fizzle out.

Sometimes, an obstacle might not require anything or much from you. As a result, taking any or too much action could become your own worst enemy and get you consumed when moving forward.

We wrongly assume that the only way we can progress, the only way we can win, is by attacking or moving forward, instead of pausing or standing—in fact, doing virtually nothing!

At the end of the day, what matters is whether the approach you use gets you to the place you desire. Although pausing, slowing down, or using obstacles against themselves may seem ineffective, it is different from doing nothing, and can often help to achieve a great deal.

Look closely and you may be surprised to find out that the bigness of your obstacles can, in fact, be an advantage for you and a disadvantage for your obstacles. It can help you push the tide against your obstacles.

Yes, we can use the things that seriously challenge us to our advantage and make them do the hard work for us. Sometimes, this would require us to calm down, leave our obstacles the way they are, instead of stressing ourselves to take every conceivable action.

Everyday, Life Asks Us Questions; Our Daily Actions are the Answers

As we continue climbing the ladder of life each day, life itself silently asks us questions by creating conditions through siblings, friends, parents, pets, the environment, and almost everything conceivable.

Life may even ask us questions through non-living things. Sometimes, on the road to success or what we want to become, life would even ask us to do certain things that, usually, we’d rather not want to do or entertain.

In any case, and regardless of our decisions, our actions are always answers which can be right or wrong or anything in between the two.

Regardless of any expected outcome, we need to take actions to progress and keep moving ahead. Therefore, it is appropriate or necessary that whenever we need do something that is necessary, and especially good, we have to do it well, bearing in mind that the value of our actions is as real as life’s conditions and demands which are like serious questions.

At any junction, life may ask us to become so low by introducing us to the broom—yes, so that we can get down there and do some real sweeping. Fortunately, but unknown to many people who throw certain opportunities away, whenever life wants to humble you, it also provides an opportunity for you to excel—and learn.

Many people climbed from humbleness and poverty to power by putting in their best—by wholeheartedly doing what life asked and expected them to do. And they did it the right way, with the right sense of pride. In fact, they even did it better than everyone else.

The quality of our actions matter; they are answers to life’s serious questions which also matter as much

Everything we do matters! It is thus important to concentrate as best as we can on the tasks of the moment, noting fully well that everything that life presents is an opportunity to exhibit our best while still chasing after perfection.

Chasing after perfection is our primary obligation or duty. (This might not be wrong or far from the truth.) In other words, what this means is that whatever we are doing, we owe it to life, the world, our profession, and ourselves to do it as best as we possibly can—do it well.

All vanity will fall away if taking high-value actions becomes a priority

We all are given different sets or types of conditions during our respective lives; it doesn’t matter whether they are glamorous or not glamorous. What matters most is how we treat each condition. Do we treat them with utmost seriousness and as a priority?

Therefore, each action we take on the path to our destination matters; hence, we should be careful not to give less than we are actually capable of giving. Whatever we are facing, we should respond with honesty, hard work, and by helping people as best as we possibly can.

Whether we are paid or not, or whether anyone notices our best efforts or not, it doesn’t matter as much as giving our best—regardless of the positives or negatives!

Life is a serious business and the questions that life asks us, along with the actions it expects and prompts us to take, require us to give our best—our all!

No matter what we are doing—whether we are facing bankruptcy or making money, rich or poor, here in hell or there in heaven—we are taking action and making something serious out of life, and this something requires at least some level of seriousness, attention, and dedication.

Defeat is Nothing but Education—Steps to Become Better

Defeat precedes almost all types of success. In fact, it is a preceding feature of almost all successes. Defeat is a great asset when used to learn, improve, and become better. 

So there’s nothing shameful about being wrong or experiencing defeat when it has the potential to be eye-opening and elevate you from grass to grace.

There’s definitely nothing wrong with defeats that open up more pathways, provide new options, and continue to prove that problems are not problems—they are opportunities!

To a certain degree, most successes in life embrace some element of defeat and failure in one way or another. In fact, defeat and failure contribute to great successes.

In an imperfect world where there are many masters, but nobody is truly the Master—nobody knows it all—it helps to keep trying your best while tolerating failures, possibly many times over.

It’s okay to fail or experience defeat. Experiencing defeat may even be a good thing—a blessing in disguise—if you experience and learn from it without allowing it to defeat you.

When defeat or failure comes, go back to the drawing board and ask questions

Questions and answers are two sides of the same coin. Defeats raise important questions and lead to the discovery of many important answers.

Whenever defeat comes, don’t leave yourself to chance and become stuck and paralyzed as many others do. Ask yourself what you’re missing, what can be improved, what went wrong, etc.

Calm down, ask questions, look for answers, then learn and develop. Look at defeats as sources of breakthroughs because they put people in corners or situations that force them to think their way out and become conquerors.

Defeats often led and still lead to the discovery of alternative methods of doing things. It prompts inquisitive people to go back to the drawing board and gain more insight to find items or activities that are more productive or effective than the existing ones.

The only way not to benefit from defeat is by not learning from it

People usually fail in one way or another, all the time, but many don’t learn a thing or two. They don’t pay attention to the details and lessons in defeats or failures.

They don’t listen to the sounds of the problems that defeat or failure exposes. If they would, it could make them better and more prepared to seize many defeats or failures by the horn and achieve more success.

It’s high time we come to terms with the fact that every defeat or failure has the potential to give us valuable lessons and instructions on how to improve and become better, if we really pay attention and get inquisitive—ask questions.

Paying attention to defeats in a positive way can help to turn pessimistic views into optimistic ones, overcome obstacles, turn disappointments into opportunities, and prove what is right by showing what is wrong or unnecessary.

Focus on the Moment, Not on the Monsters that May or May Not Appear Tomorrow

Most people start life from a disadvantaged position and, over the course of time, some of them become just fine! By focussing on the moment, taking things one at a time, second after second, minute after minute, hour after hour, they empowered more necessary thoughts, eliminated unnecessary thoughts, and enhanced their individual ability to keep the wheels rolling.

Generally, we are limited by our very human nature and can’t always think outside the box like GOD can. As a result, we usually place ourselves in the most unfair and limited position by focussing endlessly on the obstacles of the past and future of almost everything we can possibly think of, instead of focussing on the moment.

But the few individuals who go above and overboard aren’t always omniscient or omnipotent! Yes, they aren’t always sure whether their existing problems will disappear or become worse. However, one thing they’re certainly sure of is placing their utmost focus on the situation(s) at hand—the present moment. While concentrating on the moment, they find it easier to handle real obstacles—the obstacles of the moment!

Focussing on obstacles that may or may not appear tomorrow can get you and your emotions worked up in over-thinking, and limit the amount of energy and quality of focus you can actually develop to handle real problems—the problems of the moment.

What matters is “quick-fire” focus on the moment

If you have a pressing problem or obstacle now—at the moment—would it matter whether this moment is the worst moment for you to be alive? Would it really matter if you waste your time conceiving thousands of different thoughts about monsters or problems which may or may not even appear in the future? No, it wouldn’t!

Unfortunately, it is usual for people’s imaginations to sway beyond the present into the past and future, without ever taking note of the fact that projected obstacles—which may never appear in the future—are not as real as the present obstacles which are the ones that require the utmost focus.

Living in the present can be very demanding, but the more we embrace the moment—the present—the easier it becomes to face obstacles, tackle them, and move on.

Obstacles have to be viewed in a different light: we can use them as opportunities to focus on the present moment, take our best actions one step at a time, and be content to focus on/deal with results as they arise from our actions.

Concentrating on the Things Within Your Power, Enhances Your Power

Could you make a list of things that are not within our power as humans? A list of things that don’t depend on us, our feelings, or whatever we think? They may be uncountable, but at least the list would have enough room to include: the weather, the economy, natural disasters, regional or world trends, etc.

Fortunately enough, on the other hand are actually many things that are within our power—things we can control. But most people consciously or unconsciously focus and waste energy on the things that aren’t within their control, and are thus outside their league.

Every ounce of energy used on the things we can’t influence is self-indulgent, a waste, and can lead to self-destruction if one is not careful. A lot of power is frittered away by focusing and wasting time on things that we can’t control or regulate.

Even more harmful is the mental energy many people waste while chasing the winds: chasing those things we think we can change, when all heaven and earth knows that we can’t because their foundations are outside our human league.

That an employer decided not to employ you, is not within your control. It’s not under your power to decide for employers, so get over it and focus on becoming better and ready for a bigger opportunity in the future.

But it’s within your control to become better in your field or profession. It’s within people’s control to fight against their personal drug usage and addiction problems. Many things are up to you, within your power, and depend on how determined you are.

The things under our control are like playing fields in the game of life, while those that aren’t are like rules and regulations of the game of life—rules and regulations that we cannot bend.

No matter how inflexible they are, and how helpless we are against uncontrollable circumstances, you won’t stand much to gain by focussing on them.

But you can gain more momentum and power by using the same amount of time to focus entirely on those things that are within your power or control.

Achieving Success Despite Facing Obstacles that Hold Many People Back

Almost every now and then, we face obstacles—an unexpected, unfortunate, frustrating, and problematic issue—that prevent us from doing what we want to do.

Unknown to many of us, embedded in the issue or problem are benefits—benefits only for the person to whom the issue or problem is unique.

What do most people do with the issue or problem? They do nothing because it paralyzes them. They wish the issue would be just a mere empty thought, but it is reality.

Despite the reality of any issue, there is something that is highly valuable and equally/more of a reality: the possibility for you to succeed despite facing the obstacles that have held and still hold other people back.

Obstacles are usually general but, in a way, unique to each of us

The obstacles that block us are obvious and real. Every obstacle is somewhat unique to each individual because of the different or slightly different types of responses they elicit from each individual: hope, optimism, helplessness, pessimism, frustration, depression, fear, anger, etc.

Obstacles may include but aren’t limited to: race; height; age; size; poverty; high emotional stress; lack of confidence; inexperience; prejudice; skyrocketing costs of education; laws or regulations; crumbling, disintegrating, or decaying public/government or private institutions; etc.

Although we are dissatisfied with our position in the world, jobs, relationships, etc., and blame the economy, our bosses, and politicians when we can’t achieve our goals, we usually forget to fault our own individual attitudes or approaches to the general obstacles that many other people face but only a few overcome and achieve success.

In many instances, we need to face and work to overcome obstacles, instead of dodging them

When confronted by obstacles, and even failure, most people try to hit the road and run away. Even when they succeed in running away, it usually makes them become reactive, disoriented and torn apart.

However, if we look elsewhere, back into the past, or not too far away from us, we would notice that some individuals have turned the very obstacles we face into launching pads for success.

If you look elsewhere, back into the past, or not too far away from you, you would clearly sense and conclude that anyone can still succeed despite facing obstacles that hold many other people back.

If you read a little bit more history, then you would find out that earlier generations of mankind faced much more difficult problems than present or recent generations and were able to use the obstacles to progress, while most of us are still stuck in similar obstacles of the present-day.

Maybe we need to understand, appreciate, and discover how to use the obstacles that life throws at us

If we look elsewhere, back into the past, or not too far away from us and see the unimaginable obstacles and day-to-day frustrations that great men and women had to overcome before achieving success, we may need to change our individual perspectives about obstacles and learn how to use them for our own good.

If we look elsewhere, back into the past, or not too far away from us, and see the resistance, rivalries, stresses, drama, challenges, breakups, economic calamities, and pressures that some successful people had to experience and endure before achieving success, we would have a stronger mindset and more positive outlook on the obstacles of life.

Great and successful individuals find ways to transform obstacles into opportunities and weaknesses into strengths

It is inspiring to look elsewhere, back into the past, or not too far away from us, and see people progress further in life by using what should have held them backward in failure.

It is inspiring to look elsewhere, back into the past, or not too far away from us, and see great men and women of history use obstacles to fuel their ambition and create fortune from misfortune, instead of allowing discouragement and pessimism to take control.

If you conduct thorough research about people who achieved success and were outstanding, you will discover that successful or outstanding people come through obstacles in different shapes and sizes. They could be:

  • basketballers who weren’t tall
  • athletes who were too small
  • members of a race who didn’t “fit in”
  • musicians who were deaf
  • footballers who were initially subpar
  • bastards and immigrants who were “unrefined”
  • dropouts who were initially ill-mannered
  • disabled or dyslexics
  • etc.

But what happened despite their background or the obstacles they faced? They put in more effort. They hustled to grow in areas where they were lacking. They practiced harder! They paid their full dues! They achieved success even though many—maybe, even far too many—in their shoes gave up.

Although the obstacles might have kicked them around a bit, they still used the obstacles as opportunities and flipped each one to their advantage. We can do the same: regardless of whether we experience difficulty in getting a job, while running on less money, fighting against discrimination, locking horns with a hater, etc., we can use obstacles to our advantage if we take a closer look at them.

Nature Has a Purpose for Every Person, Animal, and Thing

Since free will is part of life on Earth, it might be easy to understand why people, animals—and maybe even plants—tend to dislike things that are either dissimilar or similar to their nature or species.

But it won’t be easy for some people and even animals to come to terms with any dislike that is shown towards other people, animals, and things in the environment.

Even if we don’t like/aren’t fond of a particular person, animal, or plant, it’s important to always remember that Nature has a purpose for bringing whatever it has brought into existence.

From the things that can be seen, to things that can’t be seen, such as the uncountable tiny atoms that exist, everything is connected with Nature and has a task and purpose that keeps them interconnected with each other and connected to the whole.

Even the objects and activities inside our world are interconnected with other objects and activities outside of it—in the solar system and cosmos or boundless universe.

Everything exists because Nature, in its greatest wisdom, conceived and brought everything into existence with a purpose attached. It’s not the duty of people, animals, and things to thwart that purpose!

Why the hatred, annihilation, or extinction of part or whole species, especially when nothing is at stake?

It’s disheartening that, because of hatred, jealousy, or some other unexplainable reason, some humans and animals show utter contempt, maim, and exterminate species or races that are different from or even the same with their own.

Why is there the tendency or desire to create nothingness out of the very things that Nature created for a purpose? Why the urge to impose one’s will and do away with an aspect of Nature that was created to be sustained regardless of how some people and animals think it shouldn’t?

Why aren’t we more inclined to view ourselves fortunate enough to have been conceived, created, and brought into have Nature? Everyone has the inborn ability to sustain Nature’s creations. That ability is like a small flame, and we are its guardians!

So, our job isn’t to utterly hate, debase, annihilate, or exterminate what we don’t like; rather, our job is to ensure that Nature’s offsprings are sustained as much as possible and live to the fullest extent possible.

Every individual has their own unique version of Nature’s flame and is responsible for using it, and especially directing it to enhance their own welfare and the welfare of Nature’s creations. If each one of us fails in this regard, the world will become much darker than it is.

However, if our flame flickers and we direct it as rightly as Nature wishes, then there will continue to be sustenance and light in the world. And the light would only become brighter.

Obstacles are Opportunities to Become Better, Stronger, and Successful

Figuratively and literally speaking, life is a battlefield. We have been stationed in different posts. Each person’s life is like a military campaign, confronted by obstacles as it progresses on the way.

Obstacles usually cause uncomfortable twists and turns that prompt us to keep watch like soldiers and do what we’re commanded to, even when it’s not always easy to follow orders—from above.

As individuals, we live to fight in one way or another! We fight to pull through and remain alive in a world that consists of people who are mostly indifferent and don’t care enough about their fellow human beings’ welfare and survival.

Every now and then we fight obstacles and challenges that are against our goals, our dreams, and the unique person we are working hard to become.

Although obstacles can impede our actions, it can’t impede our attitudes which have power to adapt and use obstacles as opportunities

We cannot evade all obstacles. If not today, then certainly in the future, one obstacle or another will appear in direct or indirect opposition to our plans. The obstacles may even threaten the foundation of the things we’ve erected or succeeded in putting in place.

Fortunately, we will always have a chance to study obstacles, adapt ourselves to them, and use them to develop higher, become wiser, and even succeed where people have failed.

We will have the chance to take a negative situation, turn it around and use it as an opportunity to develop a skill or unintended virtue, and become better prepared or more resilient when facing other types of pressing challenges in the future.

Use your obstacles (opportunities in disguise) to strengthen your personality

If an obstacle is preventing you from achieving your dreams on time, then your time of waiting might be the best time for you to use to practice or cultivate patience. Patience is important. Having more patience can keep you more grounded in certain areas or aspects of life.

If an employee has made a mistake and created an obstacle that is causing delays, then maybe it’s time for you to use the mistake or obstacle as an opportunity to teach other employees an important lesson from the mistake.

If someone has betrayed you or hurt your feelings, then maybe it’s time to learn how to forgive or be more forgiving—practice forgiveness.

If a situation is too difficult or hard, but we are too soft, then maybe it’s time for us to face the obstacle, squarely, and become stronger. When obstacles arise and we must face them, then we need to have an attitude that believes we will benefit from the obstacles! We need to see the positive side of things!

If we are able to reason along these lines, we will come to realize that in some cases, if not many, we can gain something valuable (a virtue, a skill, a new idea, etc.) by facing those obstacles we need to face.

Better be Flexible Instead of Sticking to a Script

One of the most important abilities to acquire in life is the ability to train the mind to adapt to or be flexible about any circumstances, especially the ones that push you to the edge or put you on the cliff.

Even if certain difficult or challenging circumstances take you off your plan or script, the ability to be flexible and adapt—if present—can keep you balanced and grounded until tides turn in your favor. 

But, as the case seems to be for a handful of us, for one reason or another, we don’t want to adapt, we aren’t ready to flex ourselves when the straight roads of life become crooked, even beyond our wildest expectations.

Actually, it would be very helpful if someone informs us about what would happen ahead of time. It would be awesome if someone shows us exactly what we need to do in every type of situation, regardless of whether it’s good or bad.

But, as we all know, the world doesn’t work that way for almost everybody: we don’t always have premonition about what will happen to us in the near or far future, neither thus anyone tell us (most of the time) exactly what we need to do correctly in every situation.

We spend an appreciable part of our lives preparing for the future so that we can be equipped and ready before time, but plans often change suddenly and beyond our control. Really, as great boxer Mike Tyson once remarked, “plans last only until you get punched in the face”.

After having plan and expectations in place, if you can’t adapt or exercise some degree of flexibility when the rough and crude adversities of life raise their heads and punch you in the face, then you will become handicapped or fall off the path.

It’s good to have plans but not always good to stick to the scripts for plans. Why? Because, as humans, the number of things and plans we can control are limited or even very limited. Major things or events can change at any moment.

We don’t always have an answer for every question or a plan for every contingency. Our scripts or plans can be changed a bit or completely by forces beyond our control: they can be edited or deleted without our consent.

But this doesn’t mean we can’t adapt or be flexible. It doesn’t mean we have to cave in.

We need to be confident that we’ll adapt, be flexible and change for the better, depending on the circumstances

If you seek for answers to all questions or perfect plans for every contingency, you’ll not always find them. However, you can be able to find the confidence that you’ll be able to adapt.

Some people may need to adapt by looking for more knowledge. Other people may need to adapt or be flexible by cultivating more skills or creativity.

Yet, a different category of people may need to adapt by being more independent and developing the ability to solve problems on their own instead of depending on the crowd.

We all are on different stages of evolution or development. By adapting in whatever way we may be required to, we become more resilient instead of rigid and stand in a better position to weather the storms of life.


Be flexible instead of sticking to a script!

Regrouping After Failure

Getting back after failure. Starting after quitting. Winning after losing. Regrouping after failure! No matter what you call it, it’s important not to allow setbacks or failures make us quit permanently, even when we temporarily give up on our dreams.

Quitting doesn’t mean you’ve permanently given up on your dreams; in most cases, it means you should quit using strategies and plans that are obviously not working for you. It means you should accept failure at the moment, temporarily, and stop to regroup on a more promising foundation.

Maybe you need to re-evaluate your product, target market, or overall marketing strategy. Maybe you’re focussing too much on customers who are not interested, so you need a change. Maybe your service or product doesn’t solve people’s problems, so you need to bring something else that solves problems.

No matter the area you’ve failed in or number of times you’ve failed, you can regroup to succeed elsewhere if you play your cards right. No matter what you’ve done right or wrong to attract failure, you can always regroup after failure. It’s never too late to start on the road to success.

Many people need to regroup by either fine-tuning their marketing strategy, finding a different or more promising product, or scrapping their entire service and concentrating on the things that really matter—the things that can keep your dreams alive.

As most successful people do, do whatever you need to do

No matter the necessary changes you need to make to get or keep the wheels rolling, go ahead and make them. It is better to quit, put aside all your past irrelevant effort, and start all over instead of continuing on a failed path that is destined to remain unproductive.

Many successful people experienced failure even after doing all they needed to do. Their failures prompted them to quit and regroup in another way, or elsewhere, and under a more profitable and promising setting that eventually attracted success later on.

Traf-O-Data (Bill Gates’ first company) failed because Gates and his partners weren’t able to make the company’s product work. Despite this, Bill Gates didn’t quit permanently.

Richard Branson was almost sent to prison when establishing his first Business, Student Magazine. He didn’t quit. Steve Jobs was fired from Apple in 1985 but regrouped instead of quitting, and found continuous success along the way.

Each person is likely going to fail at some point

Many successful people usually try a lot of things, but some or many of them eventually don’t work. Regardless of the positive or negative outcomes of their activities, successful people understand that may fail at some point; however, they don’t give room for failure to make them quit, permanently.

Successful people have the popular Japanese proverb at heart, “fall down seven times, stand up eight”. You should too: no matter how you fail, regroup after failure. Regroup with all you’ve got left on you.

Regroup and continue with what you were working on, or regroup and focus on something else that has a higher chance of yielding success. Regroup, stand up, and have great expectations for what comes next.


From the earliest of ages, it’s important to always realize that failing, falling, quitting, and regrouping are all parts of becoming successful or achieving success. In fact, failure is part of success.

Although failure is part of success, on the other hand, it could also be part of failure and lead to greater failure if we continue engaging in things that won’t/don’t work, instead of quitting and focussing on things that could work.

Stop Caring about What People Think

It’s almost always surprising to see how difficult it is for us humans to ward off feelings about what other people think about us. Even though we love and pay more attention to our own selves—individually—than we pay to other people, we end up putting more attention on other people’s opinions and just can’t stop caring what they think!

We are immensely happy with our own lives, but start becoming discontented immediately we find out that someone else or other people have a problem with ourselves and our possessions.

We think a shoe looks good on us at the store, but view it with shame and disgust when peers and people make fun of it later. Why is it easier to quickly disregard our own thoughts and feelings about something and adopt someone else’s thoughts?

Despite the appreciable or high degree of self-love we possess, we seem to give way too much credence to the opinions that our peers and other people have of us.

Such credence, if allowed to get out of control, could make us lose focus on our destiny as individuals, the aim which is to be an individual who doesn’t have to care or depend on what people think.

Why feel good about our talents and achievements only when people validate them?

Most people feel good about their abilities or potentials only when they are validated by third parties whose opinions are usually out of our control. Maybe, most people don’t know that even though each person can control only their individual opinion, they can’t exert complete control over what other people think.

Therefore, it’s dangerous and time-wasting to put our usually heavy hearts at the mercy of other people’s opinions, trying to gain validation from other people based on what they think of us.

Don’t waste all your time thinking about what other people think of you—how they evaluate your looks, actions, plans, activities, etc. Only think and deeply care about what you think.

Instead of thinking about what other people think, think about the positive results you expect, the impact you expect it to make, and all the right things you ought to be doing.

Expect to Change Your Opinions

It may take a short or long time for you to change some of your opinions about different things. It may even take longer! On the other hand, you may not change your opinions altogether, especially if you’re not in accord with obvious reasons why you should change them.

Maybe because most of us are too lazy to get to work and query our opinions, we tend to take the easier path of not wanting to consider some opinions further—talk less of changing them when necessary—so that they don’t become liabilities which they are.

For in many regards, if not all regards, wrong or faulty opinions are liabilities! Quite often, we start a project thinking we know how everything will go, and we meet people every day and assume we know who they are, but we end up finding out that some assumptions prove to be completely and utterly incorrect, and many opinions (initial opinions) are shallow or wrong in the first place.

We have to fight our wrong or shallow opinions the right way

To change our opinion from wrong to right or better, we must fight our preconceptions and biases by considering some angles around our opinions, especially angles that we haven’t explored or considered before.

To get a good or high-quality opinion, we may need to ask ourselves or other people questions: who, why, what, where, when? “Who broke into their office?”, “Why haven’t I thought about this?”, “What makes do it that way?”, “Where did I get it all wrong?”, etc.   

If you cannot get answers for all the questions tied to any opinion, be contented with any answers you get and use them to strengthen or change your opinion about aspects of the opinion that the answers are relevant to.   

We are not as wise or knowledgeable as we think we are

One lesson that life continues to teach is that no one is too young or old to learn something and increase the whole knowledge they have. We learn every day. Even if we don’t, there is always something available to learn every day.

The more we learn, the more we come to understand that we could possibly continue learning for all eternity; therefore, we should never believe that we are actually as wise or loaded as we assume we are. Asking questions and probing will change many or most of our opinions, if not all.

To become wise or wiser, we have to ask and probe when necessary and while in different situations. Asking and probing—without basing opinions on arrogance, mistrust, and any certainty that is not backed by substance—can help to change one’s opinions for the better, especially if they are applied in the right way.

The Value of Being Ruthless to the Things that Don’t Matter

From childhood to adulthood, it usually takes a considerable time or number of years before some people become aware of the fact that certain things just don’t matter and aren’t worth a minute or second of one’s precious time.

Many people have wasted their destinies because they lost time and pace while following the crowd and engaging in greedy desires, pointless heartbreaks, foolish pleasures, and certain types of empty or unnecessary social amusements.

No wonder, after years of indulgence, it finally hit many people hard: they eventually found out how little or nothing of their own was left to them; at long last, they realized they had been digging up their graves before their time!

One of the most difficult things to do in life is to say “no” to certain things

It’s difficult for most people not to follow the crowd. It’s hard for most people to say “no” to the masses: it’s almost impossible for most people to say “no” to invitations, obligations, requests, and stuff that everyone else is indulging in.

It’s even much more difficult to say “no” to time-consuming emotions such as lust, anger, obsession, distraction, excitement, and many unimportant things that are unimportant because they can’t be changed in the future.

Although time-consuming emotions and impulses don’t look like they can be controlled from the outside, they run amok on the inside and make many people become committed to a point of no return.

If you aren’t careful, the things that don’t matter will consume your life

If we focus on things that don’t matter and become sloppy on the road to our destinies, then the things that don’t matter can become our Achilles’ heel and uncalled-for burdens that have the potential to consume or ruin our lives.

So, how can you get some of your valuable time back and put yourself back on track? How can you become more focused and concentrate on what you can change and ignore what you can’t change?

Start by being ruthless and saying “no” to things that don’t matter. You don’t always have to be a yes-man, especially to things that don’t matter. Learn to disagree and say a blunt and outright “no”—as in “no, thank you”, “no, I won’t gain something valuable by being part of that”, “no, I don’t want to get caught up in that”, etc.

Your “No” may turn people off, hurt some feelings, and ruffle some feathers, but the more you continue to say “no” to things that don’t matter, the more it will be easier for you to say “yes” and concentrate on things that matter. In return, this will help you focus on your destiny and enjoy your life—the type of life you desire!

Focussing on What You Can Change & Ignoring What You Can’t Change

The need or desire for change is part of life. Most people want to change almost everything Mother Nature has given them. They aren’t satisfied with many or most conditions in their lives; so they need changes which might even marvel Mother Nature who knows why she bestowed each person with certain abilities and conditions in the first place!

We all are quite aware that it’s impossible to change many things, and it’s easy to want something so bad, even when we’re completely aware that we can’t influence or change situations to get it!

Depending on how eager we are, it could be easy for us to focus on what we can’t change and difficult to focus on what is within our reach, which we can grasp or change.

Time wasted on things we can’t change is equal to time not spent on a number of things—probably many—that we can change or improve in our lives.

In order to have focus and be efficient in life, one should be able to recognize the difference between what they can change and what they can’t change, and focus on what they can change or influence, especially for the better.

If your flight is delayed because of a heavy storm or bad weather, raging over the pilot or storm won’t end the storm or make the weather better. No amount of concern over how tall or short you are, would make you taller or shorter.

Regretting about your country of origin won’t make it possible for you to be reborn in a different country. No matter how much you try, it won’t be possible for everyone to like you to the extent you desire!

A drug addict cannot change the influence of the neighborhood they were exposed to during childhood, nor can they change or undo the bad choices they made or problems they caused months or years ago.

Time spent on shouting and hurling yourself at immovable objects is time not spent on things that are within your control—the things you can change.

Good enough, through the chance and power we have in the present moment, each person can change some things in the future: we can actually control a number of choices we make today.

If we focus on the things that are within our control and ignore the things that are out of our control, we can have more control over our emotions and be happier than people who fail to understand that they are fighting an unwinnable battle by focussing on the things they can’t change.

May we always understand and accept the difference between what we can change and what we can’t change, and may GOD give us the power and serenity to accept the things we can’t change and focus on the things we can change!

You Must Start With an Audience of One Follower Before Growing an Audience of Many Followers

A number of things have to come into play—especially, determination, consistency and longevity—before any blogger and site or domain owner can really amass an audience of many followers within a short or long period of time; regardless, each blogger or site owner must start with an audience of one follower before growing an audience of many followers.

Many people who acquire a domain or start blogging, lack patience, and wrongly assume that an audience of many followers can be amassed within a short time period—especially a few days, weeks, or months, etc.

A lot of bloggers and domain owners even lose determination and give up on blogging/their domains when they haven’t yet acquired a large following or popularized their brand name as fast as possible.

It’s important to note that, when it comes to attracting followers to a blog, site, or domain—usually—you can’t just attract an audience of many followers overnight or out of thin air, and achieve overnight success! You must first start with an audience of one follower before gradually growing an audience of many followers!

If we don’t ignore the phenomenon of gauging a blog’s or site’s success based on the number of followers, we may lose focus of content quality and production longevity which are very important

It’s unfortunate how many bloggers and site owners have been losing their blogs and sites because of the discouragement that surges within them, as a result of their small or stagnant audiences which could have grown after a certain period of time, if they hadn’t given up.

When starting a blog or site, most bloggers and site owners focus too much on the number of followers. If you do the same, especially during the early stages of your blog, and concentrate too much on the number of followers, you could lose long-term focus and be taken completely off course—away from growing a blog or site with many followers.

Usually, most bloggers and site owners base their blog’s or site’s level of success or failure on the number of people who feed off of their content: they tend to value their content and sites only in direct proportion to how small or large their audiences are.

Having this type of mindset can pose a great threat to any efforts we make and lasting impression we hope to make on the internet’s boundless landscape where content quality and quantity and lasting content production hold the most weight at the end of the day.

It’s Never Too Late to Start Living a New Story

Each one of us starts life as a baby, not a grown-up! Moving our bodies bit-by-bit and stretching our thoughts beyond our minds or imagination are the first steps we take in letting go of the baby we were and may have unconsciously thought we may continue to be.

Regardless of the conditions we lived in as babies, we never thought or assumed it was too late to start living a new story. That’s the same mentality we have to apply at any stage or age of life we get to, even if we don’t have full knowledge of the new or final identity that would await us after we start living a new story.

Each one of us becomes who we are by living a new story—here and there—along the way

In the journey of becoming ourselves, we don’t just live a new story once in our lifetime; we continue living a new story a number of times and never complete our overall story. Life is our craft; even at death, none of us actually becomes a master.

We aren’t designed to remain babies and continue living along a path that doesn’t suit our life calling. In many regards, living a new story is better than still living an old story and remaining in an irrelevant or less relevant spot.

Like babies of all animals do, you can and should stretch for the stars: stretch for what is out there where true changes occur, and start living a new story, no matter how scary the path may be.

Although we grow from babies to grown-ups in some areas of life, we still find out that we are babies that have to grow in other areas of life

Life is a process of continuous reinvention that has no end; for it is not fixed! Along the path of life, we are either following our life calling and becoming our true selves, or we are drifting away from our life calling and becoming a fake self.

Life takes us up and down and then up again; however, at different points in time, we usually arrive somewhere with a new set of abilities or skills and, more often than not, we find out that we have to start all over in some other regard or areas of life.

So, in order to continue growing, we must realize that it’s never too late to become who we are, and we must always be willing to start living a new story, especially if we find out that the old story has stopped suiting our life calling.

When living a new story, our priority should be to stretch out like real babies usually do: stretch out and away from what you know, and go in search for things that are new, things that you haven’t yet explored!

In doing so, you will continue to grow, build on who you are, and evolve in your being and outlook about life, without becoming stale in our wealth or fame or whatever you achieve!